Maybe They Will Sing For Us Tomorrow
by ballonballon
Summary: After a one night stand, Donna is left stunned by a positive pregnancy test. Then the unimaginable happens as the President attends a town hall in Rosslyn, Virginia.
1. Chapter 1

PRELUDE:

Josh walked down the familiar halls of the West Wing with a degree of trepidation that he never carried. He felt as though everybody greeting him 'good morning' knew exactly what had taken place between the four walls of his office approximately seven hours ago. His left hand was clinging so tightly to the padded strap of his backpack his knuckles were white. It as though it were a lifeline and if he were to let go of that lifeline, all hell would break loose. The closer to his office he got, the more nervous he became. The horrible nerves were swimming around his entire body, coming to a crescendo in his head and creating a cacophony of noise that was causing an intense headache. He gulped when he saw the back of Donna's silvery blonde head at her desk. He could see her typing as though this morning held no special meaning, as though it was just another day. He paused for a moment, his fingers drumming against the backpack strap before walking forward. The crescendo was growing louder with each step he took.

"Hi," he said, a little awkwardly as he stepped up to Donna's desk. The noise in his head came to a sudden stop. Donna turned and Josh could see the same trepidation mirrored in her face that was on his.

"Hi," she answered shyly. Josh stared for a moment, searching for the right words to say. The shyness between them was entirely new and neither knew how to navigate it. Their whole friendship had never been marked with awkwardness or shyness. That's what made it so easy, so right. He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

"C-can I talk to you for a second?" Donna nodded solemnly and followed Josh into the safety of his office. He firmly pressed the door closed, locked it, and then leaned back onto it with a sigh.

"Hey," he said again after a deep breath, a small smile was playing on the corners of his lips. Donna chuckled lightly in response and the slightest bit of normalcy was injected into the room.

"Hey."

"So about last night," Josh began, awkwardness filtering into his body language again. Donna too went very still.

"I-" Josh began. He looked down and realized he was still holding his backpack. He dropped it to the floor with a thud and plunged right in. "It was amazing," he said after a moment. He looked up at Donna. "Honestly amazing."

Donna gave a small smile and nodded. She knew what was coming. "Yeah."

"But we can't," Josh tossed his hands around lightly. There it was. "Do... this. Not while we work these jobs. Not in this building." Donna nodded. Of course she knew this was coming. They both did.

"I just," Josh tried to keep going, but Donna could feel the sadness saturating his words. The genuine regret softening his tone. "I wish it could be different and I really hope you believe me when I tell you that."

"If anybody found out," Josh continued, looking around the room now. "I think CJ would personally put my balls in a vice and never let go." Donna gave a soft laugh at that.

"I don't want to be on CJ's bad side either." Josh gave a strained smile.

"So we just go back to normal? Or try?"

Donna nodded, trying to smile, but it suddenly felt as though she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. She sniffed unexpectedly, unaware of the tears that had been building in her eyes. They started to fall one by one on their own accord.

Last night hadn't been planned. They were both working late and became so utterly lost in the moment that there was no hope of turning back. They hadn't been drinking. Neither of them had needed that excuse. Being the only ones left in the building, they had taken advantage of Josh's office. In true romcom fashion, they had pushed everything off Josh's desk (except his autographed baseball, which was delicately placed on a high shelf) and wasted no time. It had been tender and full of passion. Neither of them regretted it, but both of them knew deep down at the time that they wouldn't be able to continue this. Donna dared a glance up at Josh and she took small comfort in the fact that he looked just as miserable as she did.

"I'm sorry," he muttered to the floor.

"Me too," Donna said back. Josh picked his head up and their gazes locked on to each other. They could see the hurt swirling in each other's eyes, more than just tears. He sighed again and slowly walked over to her before gathering her up in a tight hug. Donna hugged him back as hard as she could and they both stood for a long time just holding each other, the silence broken only by the occasional sniffle. Donna's watery eyes created a wet patch on the shoulder of Josh's shirt as her face pressed into it. Neither wanted to break the hug as they knew their separation afterwards would be painfully final.

It took a sharp knock at the door to jolt them out of last moment of peace. It also brought them a sharp reminder of why this couldn't continue in the first place. With one last sorrowful look, Donna brushed away any evidence of tears and made her way out of the office without another word. Josh sat back against his desk and watched her go; his chest was feeling unbelievably heavy. With his hands in his pockets, he glanced up at Ed who was staring next to the doorway nervously.

"What do you need?" Josh asked in a quiet voice. Ed entered the room and the day carried on as though Josh's conversation with Donna had never taken place.


	2. Chapter 2

CJ was rushing very fast towards the women's restroom. Her early morning press briefing had run much longer than anticipated and she was regretting the amount of coffee she drank on the way into the office. With a sigh of relief, she pushed through the door to the bathroom. Her moment was short lived. Almost immediately after she had walked in, she heard the distinct sound of someone retching in one of the stalls. CJ pulled a face and turned on her heel to leave, but paused when she heard a groan from what she could have sworn was Donna. She stopped and waited until eventually the stall door swung open very slowly and CJ saw an entirely miserable looking Donna shuffle out.

"Donna," CJ said worriedly, keeping her distance. "You doing okay?" Donna looked up and her face started to grow slightly pink.

"Sorry," she muttered as she moved over to the sink and began splashing water on her face. CJ walked over and started to rub circles on Donna's back as she hunched over the sink.

"I'm okay," Donna said quietly, closing her eyes for a moment.

"You going to head home?" CJ asked her. "I can tell Josh if you-"

"No, CJ, I'm fine. Really," Donna insisted as she began washing her hands. "I've been like this for a few days, it'll pass." At that, CJ froze. She waited to see if Donna would continue and when she didn't, she felt a sense of dread beginning to bubble up in her stomach.

"You've been throwing up in the morning for a few days?" CJ asked her, trying not to let her sudden panic seep into her words.

"Yeah, I gotta go, CJ," Donna said, flustered now. She quickly dried her hands on a paper towel and tossed it in the garbage before brushing past CJ towards the door.

"Wait, Donna-" CJ called out, but Donna was gone and down the hallway before CJ had a chance to stop her. She looked around the bathroom before muttering a frustrated "damn it" to herself. Surely Donna knew what was happening? CJ knew Donna was too smart to not realize, so did that mean Donna was in denial? With a deep sigh, CJ left the bathroom, deeply worried for her friend.

Being a few years older than Donna and being one of the few other women on the campaign trail, CJ had taken to being a guide of sorts to Donna, an older sister. She would often check in on Josh's assistant to see how she was doing, both on the campaign and now. The two had struck up a solid bond and now more than ever CJ knew Donna needed a friend. This wasn't the kind of thing Donna could take to Josh.

That's why the next morning, CJ watched Donna's desk closely from her office. She was working on some notes for prep with the President later and when she saw Donna rush away towards the women's restroom again as predicted, CJ grabbed a box from her bottom drawer. She slipped it into her purse and discreetly began following Donna to the bathrooms. She let a few seconds pass as Donna made her way in and then CJ slipped through the door. She tried to tune out the sound of Donna throwing up as she searched for feet under the stalls. They were empty all but for Donna and so CJ made her way back to the door and locked it. She waited about 10 minutes. Luckily the women's bathrooms came equipped with decent chairs in the corner. Finally, Donna made her way out of the stall, looking as miserable as yesterday, her face pale and drawn. She jumped out of her skin when she saw CJ seated in the corner of the room.

"Jesus, CJ," Donna exclaimed, a hand over her heart. "What the hell are you doing?"

Without answering, CJ unzipped her purse and pulled out the box full of pregnancy tests. She waved the box briefly before standing up. The knowing look in Donna's eyes answered yesterday's question. She knew Donna suspected this too. The younger woman was keeping it together, but CJ could see the intense emotion flickering in Donna's eyes.

"I know you're not naive enough not to suspect this, Donna," CJ said gently. "Have you taken one?" Donna shook her head, not trying to argue CJ's words. For a split second, CJ saw Donna's face crumple in tears before she regained her composure.

"No," Donna whispered. CJ was close enough now to rest a comforting hand on Donna's forearm.

"Why not?"

"I don't want it to be true," Donna said miserably. Which was mostly the truth, Donna didn't tell CJ about the tiny part of her that truly did want it to be true. Donna was trying with all her might to squash that emotion. She couldn't allow herself to get attached to the idea.

"Come on," CJ said imploringly as she opened the box. "You have to find out either way. Maybe it's just some bad sushi that you ate."

Donna looked up with a watery smile, appreciating CJ's attempt at levity. They both knew it wasn't likely. Ten minutes later they stood shoulder to shoulder in front of the sinks, staring down at the three sets of pregnancy tests set in a row. Donna had both hands clutched together in front of her mouth while CJ kept an eye on her watch.

"Okay, it's time." They both leaned forward together and the truth was undeniably there. All three pregnancy tests had a thick blue plus sign in the middle of the screen. All three were positive. Without a word, CJ pulled Donna into a tight side hug as tears silently streamed down Donna's face.

There was a harsh knock at the door with a woman behind it complaining about having to use the restroom. CJ glared at the door and gave Donna's arm a squeeze.

"Let's go to my office." They put the pregnancy tests back in the box; not risking them being found in the trash and Donna tried her best to compose herself. They quickly made their way back to CJ's office without attracting too much attention. Neither noticed Josh's head pick up as they entered the office.

"Carol, nobody comes in," CJ said sternly as she shuffled Donna into the room. Carol stood up and watched them enter with worry etched on her face.

CJ locked the door behind her and Donna collapsed on the sofa, her head in her hands. With a sigh, CJ leaned against the edge of her desk and placed a box of tissues next to Donna who immediately scooped them up.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" CJ asked kindly after the sniffles slowed. Donna shook her head as she dabbed at the corner of her eye with a tissue.

"No," she whispered.

"Okay," CJ agreed. Donna blew her nose a few times as the tears had seemingly come to a stop.

"I know it's scary, Donna," CJ began carefully. "But this doesn't have to be the end of the world."

Donna looked up at her.

"Babies can be kind of cute, right?" CJ said with a small smile. She didn't really have any experience about babies, nor did she know how to talk about them. At her words though, a smile did come to Donna's face. Her smile grew ever so slightly before a fresh wave of tears cascaded down Donna's cheeks. The warmth that had come to Donna's face in that moment had set off a small alarm bell in CJ's head. One that hadn't been used in a while. A feeling of dread filled her stomach again.

"Donna?" Donna looked up at her, looking slightly more happy than she had a few minutes ago despite the tears. "I-" CJ stopped and regained her composure. "Josh isn't the-"

She was cut off by a loud thud from the door, followed by an even louder "ow!"

"CJ, what the hell?" came Josh's muffled voice from behind the door. CJ looked at Donna and had every answer she needed. The look of guilt on Donna's face was a complete giveaway. The way she was now watching the door with something akin to terror on her face, only assured CJ of the truth.

"Oh, Donna," CJ practically groaned as she put her head in her right hand. The pounding at the door became more frantic.

"CJ!"

"Go AWAY, Joshua," CJ said with surprising force, her mind was spinning frantically at the news she'd just received. She was running a million different scenarios through her head of how they would handle this situation, at how the press would eat them alive over it when they found out. And they would find out. The pounding at the door stopped.

"I just. Is Donna in there? Someone said she was sick." CJ didn't miss the softness in Josh's voice as he asked after Donna. CJ glanced over and saw Donna put her head back into her hands.

"Go away, Josh," CJ repeated. There was silence from behind the door for a few moments. "Is she okay?"

CJ didn't answer and Josh seemed to take the hint.

"Are you coming in to help prep the President?" CJ started to rub at her forehead in frustration.

"Yes."

"Okay then," Josh said, there was a curious mixture of emotions in his voice. CJ could tell how worried he was worried about Donna. They waited a while til they were sure Josh was gone before CJ spoke up again. "I swear to god I'm going to kill that idiot boy with my own two hands."

CJ stood and started pacing. "How the hell could he be so stupid? We ALL warned him about being THIS stupid. Why won't he ever listen to us?" Donna watched her pace with growing anxiety, she wasn't sure CJ even realized she was still there.

"CJ," she said quietly. CJ stopped pacing. "I was there too you know. Josh isn't the only one at fault."

"He's your boss, Donna," CJ said seriously, her hands on her hips.

"It wasn't like that though," Donna said defensively, honestly. CJ sighed and let her hands fall.

"I know," she replied, some of the anger seeping out of her. "I think that almost makes it worse."

Donna said nothing to this.

"When are you going to tell him?"

"Not yet," Donna said immediately, panicked. "Please, CJ, I can't tell him yet." CJ sighed but nodded. "You have to tell him soon, Donna."

There was another knock at the door, softer this time.

"CJ, prep starts in five," came Carol's voice.

"Thanks, Carol," CJ called back. She turned her focus back to Donna who looked so young and vulnerable on the sofa. She face was gleaming with tear tracks, her make-up smudged.

"Oh, Donna," CJ sighed, feeling so much pity for her friend. "We'll get you through this."

Donna nodded, drawing in on herself. CJ reached behind her desk to grab a binder.

"I have to go to prep the President for Rosslyn tonight," CJ said gently. "You can stay in here as long as you need."

And with that CJ left the office and headed to the Roosevelt Room.

As soon as she entered the room, Josh closed in on her.

"CJ-"

"Not now, Josh," she practically growled back at him. Josh recoiled at the hostility.

"What the hell did I do?" CJ simply glared at him, it was taking all of her willpower not to unleash all of her fury at him right now in front of everybody. Logically she knew Donna was equally at fault too, but it was much easier to focus her anger on Josh. Besides, at the end of the day, Josh truly should have known better. Though CJ knew deep down that both parties had been more than willing participants.

"Is Donna okay?" he asked, a little desperately. CJ relented for just a moment.

"She'll be fine," she said quietly. She could see Josh wanting to ask her more questions, practically bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, but he resisted the urge.

"Fine," he muttered back and moved away from her. CJ noticed how he sat himself practically on the other side of the room. It was for the best; every time CJ looked at the Deputy Chief of Staff she felt a mixture of rage and pity boil in the pit of her stomach.

Had they not all taken Josh aside at some point and warned him about this? Everyone could see the strong, almost unbreakable bond between Josh and Donna. It had been immediate and it scared the hell out of everyone. Eventually though after nothing happened between them for over a year, the rest of the staff had relaxed. If nothing had happened between them after a full year, surely they were in the clear? How wrong they had been.

The President walked in soon thereafter and they got underway with prep. Try as she might, CJ couldn't stop her mind from drifting. Josh was stood up near the front of the room and excitedly explaining something to the group as to why the President should use a particular set of stats and CJ train of thought finally landed on the most pressing fact. Josh Lyman, the man she had come to know so well over these past few years, was going to be a father.

She pictured Josh holding a baby bundled up in blankets and she couldn't help the warm smile that came to her face. Josh was actually surprisingly good with babies. They had come across their fair share of them on the campaign trail and while Toby would grumble and complain, Josh often went out of his way to interact with the babies and young kids they met on their travels. He'd play with them and entertain them when the staffers had a bit of downtime.

"Gotta get them excited about the democratic process, CJ! I don't want Toby to be their picture of democracy," Josh had told her excitedly. He'd ignored her when CJ pointed out that a five-month-old baby wasn't going to remember this lesson in democracy. CJ wondered if Donna was remembering those moments right now too. She remembered the time Josh had actually stepped in to help a struggling young mom who had her hands full with her three young kids. The older two had been throwing simultaneous tantrums and Josh had rushed over to take the baby from the mother's arms so she could attend to the other kids. They were all amazed at how quickly at ease the baby was in Josh's arms. The whole exchange only lasted around five minutes, but CJ had been impressed.

She thought of that warm smile that had graced Donna's lips and began to think of things from a PR standpoint. Would it be better if her and Josh presented a united front? If the press knew they were together at least it would stop any rumors from taking off before they started.

CJ considered what the press would do with photos of the Deputy Chief of Staff's increasingly pregnant assistant spending more and more time at her boss's house. She cringed.

"What's wrong?" Toby had walked up to her without preamble, taking the empty seat next to her while the rest of the room still had their full attention on Josh.

CJ smiled sadly. "You'll find out eventually."

"You're not going to tell me?" Toby grumbled. CJ simply nodded.

"Is it something I need to know?"

"It will be." Toby suddenly looked furious.

"CJ!"

"There's nothing I can do, Toby," CJ told him, agitation seeping into her own words now. Toby followed her line of sight and saw it landed on Josh, who had stopped talking now and was sitting down next to Sam.

"Does it have to do with Josh?" Toby asked her, his voice dangerously low. CJ sighed.

"Yes." Toby threw his pencil down onto the table with a smack, causing most of the room to turn and stare at him. Josh caught the angry looks coming his way from both CJ and Toby now and went slightly pale. He busied himself talking to Sam and pretended not to notice.

"How bad is it, CJ?" Toby asked after the meeting picked up again.

CJ took a deep breath and sighed. "It's bad."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Thank you so much for all the positive feedback :)

"Alright everyone, we're finished here," the President called out over the room. He placed the microphone he was holding onto the stool and made his way out of the room swiftly, Charlie close on his heels.

Josh eyed up Toby and CJ across the room for a moment before trying to casually bolt for the door. Did CJ know about his night with Donna a few months ago? Is that why she was giving him death glares? He ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he rushed down the hallway back to his office. Was Donna still sick? His shoulders sagged when he got back to her desk and found it empty. A bright yellow sticky note was stuck on her black computer screen.

"Josh - went home sick, remember your 3 o'clock with Klein."

Josh stared blankly at the note for a few seconds before carefully pulling it down from the computer and continuing to look at it. It wasn't like Donna to leave a note instead of talking to him in person. Did CJ being mad at him have anything to Donna going home early?

Without warning, he suddenly felt himself being pushed roughly towards his office. Before he could gather his bearings, he was regaining his balance against his own desk. He looked up to see it was Toby who pushed him. He was closing the door and then locking it.

"Toby, what the hell-"

"What did you do?" Toby growled. Josh's eyebrows knit together.

"What is this? Why is everyone pissed at me?"

"I donno, Josh, why don't you tell me? CJ is pretty damn pissed at you," Toby said, his voice rising slightly.

"I donno either, Toby! Why don't you ask CJ? She hasn't told me why she's mad."

"You can't think of any reason why she'd be this pissed at you?"

Josh hesitated for only a split second. "Well-"

But it was enough to make Toby pounce. "Josh," Toby said warningly.

"It's nothing," Josh said dismissively, trying to recover. He started looking at papers on his desk to distract himself, hoping Toby would take the hint. He didn't.

"What do you two know that I don't?" Toby had his hands in his pockets and was standing right in front of the door, subtlety letting Josh know that he wasn't leaving the room until Toby decided it was okay.

"Nothing," Josh said with a dismissive shrug.

"Josh!" Toby practically shouted and Josh jumped slightly, but didn't look up. Toby continued. "I will not have another one of your screw ups blindside this administration and throw us off message. Tell me now so we can get in front of it and get control on the situation."

Josh's expression soured at Toby's accusation and he felt immediately hot under the collar.

"You know, Toby, if I'm such a problem all the time with my screw ups, why don't you guys just fire me," Josh said dismissively.

"Is that what you want?" Toby asked him, his hands falling behind his back.

Josh hesitated before answering. "No,".

"Then tell me what CJ knows."

"I told you," Josh said, frustration leaking out of his words now, he started pacing. "I don't know what she knows."

"But you have an idea?"

Josh paused before answering with a quiet, "maybe".

"Well?" Toby pushed. Josh closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his eyes.

"Toby," he said slowly.

"For the love of god, Josh. Just tell me!" Toby said, his voice going up an octave.

"I-I," Josh stuttered. He looked up at Toby who was frowning deeply with his arms crossed.

"I slept with Donna a couple months ago," Josh said in a voice just above a whisper. Toby immediately turned around with his eyes closed and let out a short groan of frustration before pounding a fist against the closed door.

"Who knows?"

"I donno, Toby! It was just us. There was no one else in the building."

Toby froze.

"In the building?" he said slowly, putting emphasis on every syllable. Josh froze now too, realizing the implication of his words. "Are you honestly telling me that not only were you stupid enough to sleep with your assistant, you decided to sleep with her in the White House!?"

"I-. It was like midnight and we were the only ones still here," Josh gulped.

"You know that for sure?" Toby demanded. He was inching closer and closer to the desk.

"I think so," Josh answered meekly. He felt incredibly small in light of his transgression.

"You think so? Then how the hell does CJ know about it? Were you gossiping with her afterwards?"

"Toby-"

"Was Donna!?"

"No, Toby! I know Donna wouldn't do that," Josh said defensively.

"That would mean someone else was here then!" Toby said. He let out a laugh of disbelief after he finished speaking.

"This is unbelievable. After how many times all of us warned you about this. You go and do it anyways."

Josh stared at a single spot on his desk furiously, not having the words to fight back. How could he explain to Toby how much that night meant? It wasn't a night of something frivolous; it was filled with a longing that both of them felt so closely it hurt.

"What, you have nothing to say for yourself?" Toby asked harshly. If anybody knew how to employ their words as sharp knives, it was Toby. His words collectively cutting into Josh until Josh finally collapsed into his chair and shook his head before leaning back and placing his hands over his eyes. He wished he had been able to talk to Donna before she went home.

"Josh!"

Josh pulled his hands away and looked at Toby, who looked about as furious as Josh had ever seen him.

"What do you want from me, Toby? We've already put an end to it. We-" Josh paused for a moment as though speaking the next words would cause him pain. "We know it can't happen between us." As he finished speaking, Josh's face fell into the picture of misery. Being reminded of the life he couldn't share with Donna was agonizing. Their night together had felt so right. For one night he had allowed himself to imagine a life with Donna and it had been everything he could have hoped for.

"I want you to stop testing this administration's patience with you," Toby said darkly. "Sleeping with your assistant in the White House, Josh? I don't know how you expect us to defend that one if it gets out." Josh lifted his eyes, but didn't respond. It's not like anything he said would make a difference now anyways.

"You gonna tell Leo?" Josh asked miserably. Toby stared back at him and finally seemed to register just how upset Josh seemed over the whole matter. Though not at being got caught. It went deeper than that.

Toby hesitated before answering quietly. "Not unless I have to." Josh's head picked up. "But Josh, if CJ already has this."

"Yeah," Josh replied in a small voice. "Listen, I've got a meeting before we all head down to the thing."

Toby looked like he had more to rant about, but instead he simply nodded. "Fine."

After he was gone, Josh immediately tried to call Donna at home, but again was met with no response.

Was Donna avoiding him? He chose to leave a message.

"Hey, Donna, it's me. I just had a... weird conversation with Toby that we should probably talk about. Are you feeling any better? I hope it's nothing too serious. Or contagious. Okay... Bye."

Josh hung up the phone with a sigh and then let his chin drop to his chest.

Donna was sitting in her apartment already dressed down into her wooly socks and oversized sweater. Her roommate was gone for the night, which she was grateful for. She had listened to Josh's message a few hours ago, but couldn't bring herself to call him back. The phone had actually been in her hand a few times, but every time she got close to dialing, her fear would cause her to snap the phone shut. She had not idea how to break the news to him. Or when. In all honesty, she had no idea how Josh was going to react to this news. If CJ was anything to go by, he would react badly. Donna couldn't help but imagine a world where this news wasn't cause for a scandal, but for celebration. A world where she'd been giddy with excitement to tell Josh. Tears filled her eyes.

Suddenly, a breaking news bulletin in a bright yellow banner flashed across the screen and grabbed Donna's attention. Donna felt her whole world shift from underneath her as the newscasters began filling in details of how the President had been shot at moments ago and was being rushed to GW. Without waiting to hear the rest of the report, Donna grabbed for a jacket and sprinted out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

He might never know. All CJ could think about as the world screamed in blue and red flashes around her was that Josh might never learn about Donna. Her hands were clinging to Josh's desperately as the paramedics ripped open his shirt and frantically started to assess the damage to Josh's chest. There was blood everywhere, CJ looked down at her own hands and saw them shine with the sticky, red liquid. Another paramedic came rushing to the scene and CJ had to shift positions to stay out of her way. She didn't relinquish her grip on Josh's hand. The paramedics were speaking to each other quickly with medical jargon CJ didn't quite understand. She turned her head to glance at Toby and Sam behind her and she saw them staring with the same blatant horror she was.

With a closed fist crushed to his mouth as he held onto his wrist with the other hand, Sam couldn't take his eyes off his best friend. Toby was stood perfectly still next to him with his hands outspread by his sides. CJ glanced down and saw Toby had blood dripping from his fingers and splattering the pavement below. Josh's blood. The same blood that was coating her hands now. Charlie was sat on the ground, with his knees bent in front of him, he was staring at his hands.

CJ jumped as a backboard was dropped on the other side of Josh with a clatter. The paramedics never told her to let go of Josh's hand as they transferred him to the board, so she didn't. She felt Josh squeeze tighter as he cried out in pain at being taken from the pavement.

"It's fine Josh," CJ tried to say, feeling the utter falsehood of her words immediately. "You're going to be fine!" She cringed, but saw Josh's eyes flick up towards her. She saw the panic in them and she kept going.

"We're going to get you to the hospital and you're going to be just fine," CJ tried to assure him while keeping her own voice from shaking.

"O-okay," Josh stammered. CJ felt her eyes well up with tears and she had to look away from him. She was thinking about Donna again and about the child Josh might never come to know. A part of her wanted to tell him here and now about the baby. He couldn't die without ever knowing, surely?

CJ took another look at her friend as they were rushing towards the ambulance and shook her head.

"Josh, you need to hang on. There's so much we need to tell you. Please," CJ started telling him almost pleadingly as they all piled into the ambulance. Toby and Sam shot quick decisive words at the paramedics as they attemptted to limit the number of passengers. Charlie pushed his way in too. CJ saw Josh's eyes roll up towards her again. He had a neck brace on and a paramedic was placing an oxygen mask over his nose. Josh reached up his right hand to pull the mask away something and slurred back "tell me what?". The rest of the group also looked at CJ in question.

The paramedic besides CJ immediately smacked Josh's hand away and replaced the mask.

"Mr. Lyman, you need to keep that mask on," she said sternly. Her partner was currently inserting an IV into Josh's arm.

The next 20 minutes of CJ's life passed by in a blur. There was a never-ending amount of doctors and nurses shouting instructions and orders and medical terminology at each other, the noise of the sirens seemed to be never ending. She felt her heart break for what felt like the thousandth time as she heard the desperation in Sam's voice as he followed alongside the stretcher carrying Josh, assuring Josh he was still next to him.

Suddenly Leo was there and he had to take in the news that the man he basically viewed as a surrogate son was flickering dangeroulsy between life and death. They learned that not only had Josh been hit, but the President was in surgery at that very moment. Though they had been assured the President's wound wasn't nearly as critical as Josh's the incessant worry kept pounding away beneath CJ's ribcage.

Within minutes of arriving to the ER, Josh was being carted away up to surgery. The rest of the staff could only watch helplessly as their now unconscious friend was taken away from them. The unspoken question was on everybody's mind, was that the last time they'd see him?

He might never know. CJ's mind had returned to that tragically unfair statement. The fear CJ had seen in her friend's eyes was haunting her. In the ambulance ride over, she had heard the paramedics tossing out tons of medical jargon she didn't understand, but she had gotten the gist. Single gunshot wound, collapsed lung, loss of consciousness. Tears were filling her eyes as the horror of the situation washed over her again and she stood, taking a deep breath.

Toby was watching her warily from a few seats away. When CJ muttered something about needing some air, he followed. She never even realized he was behind her until she found a quiet place in an empty hallway.

"Hey," Toby said quietly, not wanting to startle her. CJ's head whipped around at his voice.

"Hey," she replied back. She let her back fall against the wall and looked up at the ceiling.

"Toby," CJ started, her tone morose. Toby looked up at her and simply nodded.

"I know." The two remained in silence for a while before Toby spoke up.

"CJ?"

"Yeah."

"What did you mean in the ambulance?"

"What?"

"You told Josh he needed to hang on so we could tell him about something."

"I-" CJ suddenly felt panicked. "Toby."

"CJ," Toby said soberly in that knowing way he did. He sighed gruffly before continue. "Is Donna pregnant?" CJ stared at him in shock, floored.

"Toby-"

"That's why you were so pissed today," Toby pressed on. At CJ's baffled look, he continued. "I talked to Josh today. He told me about him and Donna sleeping together." Toby paused. "About two and a half months ago."

CJ stared at him wide eyed, amazed how quickly he put the information together.

"How did you-"

"He told me that they broke it off. What else would crop up now? What else would be so important that you had to tell him when he was strapped to a gurney with a bullet hole in his chest?" Toby's voice had dropped to a soft whisper, his words coated with emotion. CJ marveled at the sight. Seeing Toby this emotional was not something she was sure she'd ever seen before.

"He doesn't know, Toby," CJ told him, her own voice breaking now too. "What if he-" Toby held up a hand.

"Don't, CJ."

'But-"

"Don't!" Toby repeated more firmly. CJ sniffed a few times and nodded.

"Donna and I are the only ones that know. You can't let her know you figured it out. At least not until," CJ paused again to take a deep breath. "Not until she can tell Josh."

Toby nodded and ran a quick hand to wipe at his nose.

"Come on," he said imploringly, an arm outstretched towards her. "We should get back."

The two of them walked slowly back to the grim waiting room side by side. Nobody really looked up at them when they entered. Everybody was too lost in their own thoughts. CJ was so lost in her own vigil, she didn't even notice when a rush of blonde hair entered the room in a hurry.

"Is there any word on the President?" CJ looked up and felt a fresh sliver of pain dissect her chest. Donno didn't know. She didn't know how much her world had been drastically altered in the last few hours. How had nobody thought to call her? She mentally kicked herself.

"The President's going to be fine," CJ said after a moment, with a small but genuine smile. She watched as Donna practically melted with relief and CJ couldn't bear to be the one to break Donna's heart so severely. Seeing the anguish on CJ's face, Toby cleared his throat. The room turned to look at him and CJ felt grateful, but her moment of peace lasted only seconds as she watched Donna slowly digest the news and collapsed into a chair behind her. She reached out an arm to try and comfort her friend, but she wasn't even sure Donna registered it. CJ didn't miss Donna's hand as it slowly crept up to her stomach and the fresh horror of the night washed over her once more.

Josh might never know.


	5. Chapter 5

There was a low buzzing of machinery filtering in through Josh's ears in a soft and muted way. The world almost sounded like it was playing in slow motion; it was difficult to make sense of. He felt dimly aware of several machines and a dull smell of sanitary cleaners.

He tried opening his eyes, but to no avail. Lifting his eyelids felt as difficult as lifting a 50 ton weight. There was a dulled pain radiating all across his chest that he tried to ignore, but couldn't. He tried to move a hand up to feel what was wrong, but couldn't quite get his hand to cooperate either.

A voice was starting to make its way through all the clutter filling his head. A familiar voice. Someone was reading to him. Josh tried with all his might to concentrate fully on the words and could make out that this person was reading about him. Achievements, schooling, and family members were all being discussed. Harvard, Yale, Fulbright scholar. Bartlet for America.

Josh was suddenly filled with a moment of panic. Was this an obituary? Was he actually dead? He thought about the pain resonating in his chest and wondered if you felt pain after death. A new noise came into his mind, the sound of a door opening and then a new, deeper voice speaking. The person reading to him went quiet and he missed it immediately.

"No signs of him waking up on his own yet?" the new voice was asking. If they were waiting on him to wake up that would mean he wasn't dead yet, right?

"Not really. I've seen his eyelids flickering, but other than that." Josh could hear the sadness in this person's voice and felt guilt rise through him at making them worry like this. The next thing he knew he felt pressure on his shoulder as someone started to try and shake him awake.

"Josh? It's time to get up," the voice was saying. "It's okay. Open your eyes."

Josh grumbled at the annoying shaking. He again tried to move his hand to bat the offending person away, but his hand still wouldn't cooperate.

"Josh," the voice said again, firmer this time. Josh felt somebody grab his hand and start running their thumb over the back of it.

"Come on, Josh," said the voice. This was the one that was reading to him. With an almighty effort, Josh cracked open his eyes marginally.

"Hey there," a man in a white coat greeted him calmly. Josh worked at opening his eyes further until he could see the man in front of him with salt and pepper hair fully. This was his doctor. He wasn't dead!

"How're you feeling?" the doctor asked as he rudely shined a flashlight directly into Josh's eyes. Josh grumbled and tried to turn his head away.

"Chest hurts," he said in a painfully raspy way. It hurt to speak. At seeing the new look of pain on Josh's face, the doctor explained. "Your throat is going to be sore for a few days. It's the aftereffect of having the breathing tube in there for so long".

Josh tired lifting his right arm and managed to tap on his chest once. His doctor filled in the blanks.

"Your chest is going to be hurting a little bit longer than that unfortunately." Josh saw the doctor making notes on a clipboard and let his head fall to the side where his eyes found the source of the familiar voice that was reading to him. A lopsided smile came to his face. She was staring intently at him, her mouth slightly open.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," Donna whispered back. Her eyes were filled to the brim with unshed tears and her bottom lip was trembling.

"Alright, Josh, I'll be back in about an hour to see how you're doing," the doctor announced before replacing the clipboard at the end of Josh's bed and walking out of the room. Donna barely registered him leaving, her eyes never left Josh's face and Josh's eyes roamed over hers.

"M'not dead right?" he asked slowly. Donna saw him wince in pain after certain words, but let out a surprised laugh.

"No, you're very much not dead, Josh," she told him. Josh felt her grip on his hand tighten. "Thankfully."

"Just checkin," Josh replied. After a moment he kept speaking. "What happened?"

Donna had to lean in closer to hear him. She hesitated before answering, wondering if Josh was in any condition to hear the horrors of what happened a few nights ago. At her silence, Josh prompted her with a quiet "Donna?".

"You need to stop talking if it hurts your throat Josh," Donna scolded lightly. "I know how hard that idea is to you though." She smiled in relief when she saw Josh's lips curl upwards. Donna decided to tell him.

"Two gunmen opened fire on everyone leaving the town hall in Rosslyn. The secret service killed the shooters and they have a third man in custody." She saw a look of anguish cross Josh's face and pressed on.

"Everybody is okay Josh," she told him. "You're the one everybody was worried about."

Josh looked up at her. "Yeah?"

"Yes."

"Promise?"

Donna smiled wide at him. "Promise."

"Kay."

"Go back to sleep," she encouraged as she saw Josh's eyelids start to grow heavy. Josh kept fighting it.

"Stay?" Donna felt her chest fill with a certain emotion she couldn't quite put her finger on. She nodded immediately. "Of course I'll stay." Josh was out within seconds and Donna let herself lean back into the chair and slouch down. Her felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders now that she had solid evidence that Josh was still alive. Josh was alive and he would get better. She would do her best to assure that. They weren't fully out of the woods yet, but they were out far enough that Donna felt comfortable enough to take a breath.

The last two days had been hell. The uncertainty had been eating her alive. Even though the doctors were assuring her of their anticipation that Josh would run into no further complications, Donna feared the worst. How could she not? She had been able to think of nothing other than Josh and the tiny unborn baby within her belly. The idea that she would never be able to tell him about it was too much to bear. She let a hand drift to her stomach and closed her eyes.

Regardless of what happened next between the two of them in the months to come, at least her child would have a living, breathing father.

Donna was sitting in the same chair she had been in for what seemed like an eternity when she heard a tentative knock at the door. She looked up to see CJ, Sam, and Toby quietly enter the room. They all looked exhausted. The frenzy that had been taking place at the White House the past few days had been to a level no one had experienced before and they had to handle it with two of their most important members down.

"Hey," CJ said quietly as they walked in. Donna smiled at their arrival. They had trickled in sporadically over the past two days, but their demands at the White House meant none of them could spare more than just a few moments.

"How are things at the White House?" Donna asked them.

"Finally calming down a notch," Sam said with a deep sigh of relief. He pulled up a chair next to Josh's bed and crashed into it. CJ moved to sit next to Donna. Toby just stood hesitantly, a noticeable way away from the bed.

"How long are you staying?" Donna asked them. The sun outside was just beginning to creep towards the horizon as evening settled upon the world around them. There was a stillness to the hospital at this time of day, Donna noticed. The pinkish hue of the sunset was engulfing the whole room in lines of orange traced into the walls as the sun's reflections surrounded them.

"Leo kicked us out," Sam told her, with only a small pout. Donna felt relieved at that.

"How is he?" Toby asked Donna from across the room. Donna rose her head to meet Toby's gaze. "He's doing okay, considering. He was awake for a few minutes a while ago."

"Did you talk to him?" Sam asked urgently. Donna nodded.

"Yeah," she replied quietly. "I told him what happened. I don't think he remembers any of it," Donna continued. "At least not right now. He was worried about if anyone else got hurt." She saw CJ and Sam's faces break into smiles at that.

"He didn't remember the President and Leo coming to see him a day ago?"

Donna shook her head. "I don't think so."

"You know, I think I need some coffee," Sam said after a moment. He pushed himself up out of his chair. "Anyone want anything?" CJ asked for something before Toby spoke up, "I'll come with you".

"Donna?" Sam asked. Donna looked hesitant before shaking her head.

"I've had enough coffee," she lied. Toby stared at her for a long moment before turning to follow Sam out of the room.

When they were gone, CJ immediately gave a significant look at Donna.

"Did you tell him?"

"No, CJ, how could I tell him right now?"

"You need to tell him eventually," CJ replied.

"Preferably when he's able to actually lift his head off the pillow," Donna said bitterly. CJ blinked and nodded. "Yeah."

"Listen." Donna turned her head to look at CJ again. "Have you made a doctor's appointment yet?"

"I-" Donna began, feeling guilty. "There hasn't been time, CJ, I've been spending all my days here-"

"No, no, Donna, I know. I'm sorry. I just wanted to say if you wanted someone to go with you while Josh is stuck in bed. I would come. If you wanted me to," CJ finished lamely. She looked uncertain. "If you wanted some moral support."

Donna didn't know how to respond, she hadn't even thought that far ahead as to book an appointment with a doctor. It hit her suddenly how that was probably something she should have done as soon as possible. She'd heard stories about false positive pregnancy tests.

"I can bring pom-poms, if you like," CJ spoke up again, a small smile on her face. Donna laughed.

"I guess I should go pretty soon," she sighed.

CJ nodded. "You really should."

"I doubt Josh will be able to get there for a few more weeks," CJ said sadly, her eyes skimming over her sleeping friend.

"He starts physical therapy in a day or two," Donna told her. "But the doctor said it'll take a while for him to get his mobility back."

"Doesn't seem right," CJ said. "A Josh Lyman that sits still?"

Donna let out a laugh. "Not like him at all."

"Look at this stubble," CJ said with a grimace, she leaned forward to examine the stubble found on Josh's cheeks and gently ran a thumb down it. "Can't we have one of the nurses shave it?"

"No!" Donna said immediately. CJ turned to look at her confused.

"I just-" she stammered. She didn't know how to tell CJ that the stubble on Josh's cheeks had been a welcome addition every morning Donna saw him. The stubble was a sign that there was still life in Josh's body. Even when the rest of Josh had remained largely unconscious, the stubble continued to grow and Donna managed to take comfort in that.

"I like it," she said simply. CJ gave a sympathetic smile and pulled her hand back.

After a few moments of silence between them, Donna spoke up again. "I'd like that, CJ." CJ looked at her. "If you came with me." CJ smiled and nodded.

"Okay."

"I just. I can't tell Josh yet. Not while he's like this." CJ looked a little less sure at this, but nodded still. "Okay."

"You're not still mad at me?" Donna asked. CJ let out a laugh.

"Oh I'm still pissed as hell at the both of you," she began. Donna gulped. "But until we know how we're actually going to handle this there's no use in punishing you." Donna gave a strained smile at that and CJ continued.

"Besides, I think we all need each other right now. Now more than ever," she said, emotion creeping into her voice. Donna looked up at her and CJ saw the tears in Donna's eyes. She saw the events of the past few days showing clearly on Donna's face, etched into every line of her. She reached out to put a comforting hand on Donna's knee. "We'll get through it, Donna."

Donna nodded and CJ pulled her in for a tight hug. She felt a twinge of guilt for not giving Donna a hug sooner because from the way Donna had clung to her, CJ could tell she'd been needing one.

"He's still here Donna. It's going to be fine." They pulled away from each other just as the door swung open again. Sam and Toby entered balancing cups of coffee just as Donna was swiping away stray tears. The two men looked unsure before CJ broke the tension.

"Did you add my two sugars?" she asked, getting up to meet them halfway to grab her coffee.

"Yes," Sam answered defensively. "I won't be making that mistake again any time soon." CJ looked triumphant as she grabbed the to-go cup from him. She savored the warmth that spread through her hands.

They all jumped when a mumbled "hey" came from the bed. Josh was watching them through heavily lidded eyes, looking thoroughly exhausted.

"Where's my coffee?" he asked them.

Donna immediately replied with a smile. "You don't get coffee." Josh turned his head to look at her and frowned.

"That's not fair," he said, letting his head fall back against the pillow. Donna noticed the raspiness of his voice was still evident, but Josh didn't seem to be wincing in pain now as he spoke. Toby, Sam, and CJ had all gone still. Donna looked at them and realized this is the first time they had seen Josh awake.

"How are you feeling?" CJ asked tentatively. She and Sam both moved to retake their seats next to Josh's bed. Toby remained standing at a distance.

"Shitty," Josh replied bluntly.

"It's nice to see you awake," CJ replied. Her voice was soft and gentle in a way it very rarely was when she was talking to Josh. Josh gave a smile. They could all tell he was only half with them. The exhaustion tied into the seemingly endless amount of pain meds made that evident. They could see he was trying though. Trying to be present in the moment and talk with them.

"What's the President doin'? Josh asked. At this point he could remember Donna telling him they were shot at. She had told him everyone was okay. Josh didn't realize the existing trauma that statement had covered up.

"He's uh," Sam started, he gave a look to Donna, silently asking her if Josh knew. Donna shook her head and Sam looked around at the group, wondering if he should continue.

"What, Sam?" Josh asked. They watched as Josh pitifully tried to push himself up on the bed. He mostly failed with a huff.

"Josh, the President is fine," Sam started, staring at Josh intently to gauge his reaction. "He was shot in the abdomen, but has already been through surgery and is a few days away from a full recovery."

"What!?" Josh exclaimed. He immediately went to push himself up again using both arms but quickly cried out in pain when he put too much weight on his left side. Donna jumped up to try and settle him as he squeezed his eyes shut in pain.

"Ah," Josh moaned. He moved his right arm up to cover his eyes and didn't notice as Donna pressed the call button to bring a nurse into the room. Everyone in the room looked on in horror as they saw the pain so clear in Josh's face.

"Josh, the President is perfectly fine," Donna reiterated, she leaned in close to make sure Josh could hear her. "There's nothing you have to worry about. He's actually been in here a few times worrying about you."

Josh's eyes were still covered by his arm, but Donna could see him listening.

"He'll be upset if he knew you were working yourself up over it, okay?" she said soothingly. She had grabbed onto his hand and felt Josh squeezing it tight.

A moment later a nurse came bustling into the room.

"What's going on?" she asked, pushing her way past Sam to the bed. She started checking Josh's vitals.

"He found out about the President and got a little worked up," Donna supplied. The nurse added something into Josh's IV line and turned to glare at the people in the room who weren't Donna.

"I don't like having so many people in here," she said sternly. CJ immediately perked up.

"Please don't make us leave, this is the first time we've got to see him awake."

The nurse shook her head as they noticed Josh's pain seemed to lessen. "He won't be awake for much longer, when he's out we'll need you to leave," she said with an air of finality that left nothing up for debate. She left the room and Sam immediately began apologizing.

"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," he said quickly. "Josh, I'm sorry." Josh had removed his arm and looked spent.

"He's okay?" Josh asked weakly. Everyone in the room assured him that he was; Toby too.

"Seriously Josh, he was up just hours after his surgery to come and check on you," CJ said with a smile.

"Okay," Josh replied weakly. It shook all of them to see Josh this weak. The man was normally bouncing off the walls with energy, to see him unable to even push himself up the bed was alarming.

"You'll feel better soon, buddy," Sam told him reassuringly. Josh gave a short laugh that said he didn't believe him and they watched as Josh quickly succumbed to sleep again.

CJ glanced over at Donna, who still had Josh's hand clutched between hers and sighed as she noticed Donna's hand had strayed to her belly again. With a look round to the others in the room, she hoped nobody else thought twice about it.

Donna looked up and noticed where CJ's eyes were focused on her and hurriedly removed her hand. It was becoming a habit she realized; it brought her comfort. Being reminded of the intimate connection between her and Josh now grounded her in the reality that Josh was still here. She would never take that for granted again.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** Thank you so much for the positive feedback. It means a lot :) Here's the next chapter!

"I don't get it," Josh was muttering darkly as he slowly climbed back into bed, a hand on his nurse's shoulder to help steady him. "Why the hell is it this hard? It's not like I got shot in the legs."

"Your whole body needs to recover," the nurse was telling him soothingly. They had just gotten back from one of Josh's physical therapy sessions and Josh was exhausted and miserable.

"I feel useless."

"You're not useless," Donna said as she walked into the room behind them. The nurse left the room with a sympathetic smile to Donna.

"What good am I doing anyone right now, Donna?" Josh asked in challenge. The rise in his voice caused him to cough painfully a few times.

"Josh, you got shot in the chest and almost died. Nobody at the White House is sitting there thinking you're doing anything other than you're supposed to be doing."

"If they'd just talk to me about stuff I could help!" Josh exclaimed, again pushing it too far and enducing a coughing fit. Donna gave him an exasperated look with very little sympathy this time.

"It's a wonder why we're trying to keep work away from you," she said plainly.

"I can handle it," Josh muttered, quieter this time. "I want to help."

"And we want you to get better Josh. Help us by doing that. Just give your full focus to your recovery and physical therapy and the sooner you'll be back at work."

Josh didn't have a response for this. He settled into his bed with a huff and Donna sighed as she was again deterred from telling him about the baby. If he was letting his focus on recovery slip this much just from being frustrated from not being at work, Donna dread to think what her news might do to slow Josh's recovery. She desperately wanted to tell him, but she constantly battled with the idea that it would be better for Josh's recovery if she waited a little longer. Until Josh could at least walk across the room without feeling completely spent.

Checking her watch, she let out another sigh. Today was the day of her first doctor's appointment and the fact that Josh didn't know about it was eating away at her. She felt incredibly guilty both ways, for not telling Josh and at the idea of telling him. Even if she had already told him, he'd just be devastated at not being able to leave the hospital to go with her to the appointment. The doctor she had found was way across town.

She supposed it was safer that Josh didn't go with her in the first place. With the increased press attention since Rosslyn, she doubted Josh could get away with walking into a OBGYN's office with her. He'd be seen and the press would be relentless in asking questions.

"Alright, I have to leave for a few hours," she announced to Josh. She felt awful again as she watched his face fall, though he tried to hide it.

"Oh, okay," he said. Donna could hear the disappointment in his tone. He tried to distract himself by grabbing the TV remote and tossing it around with his good hand.

"I won't be gone long," she assured him. Josh didn't look up. She'd been spending most of her time at the hospital these days. Which was the way she liked it in all honesty. This way she could keep a close eye on Josh's recovery. Sam was also pitching in a lot and spending time with Josh to help keep him occupied when he was free. CJ and Toby visited when they could.

Josh still spent a lot of time asleep and Donna knew he would be spent after his physical therapy session and would probably fall asleep within the hour so she didn't feel too badly at leaving for a while.

"Where're you going?" Josh asked her. His head was leaned back against the pillows now. Donna could already register the fatigue setting in.

"To the office to catch up on a few things," Donna said, only partially lying. She was going to the office to pick up CJ and technically she was catching up on a few things.

"Kay," Josh replied, trying to sound disinterested. He turned on the TV and let his head loll to the side to watch.

"I'll be back later," Donna assured him. Josh just nodded.

"See you later," she said as she walked through the door.

"Bye," Josh called back, fiddling with the remote again. With one last look Donna closed the door and a rush of emotion came crushing down on top of her. She truly wished Josh was the one going with her to the appointment.

"Hey," Donna announced as she appeared in the doorway of CJ's office.

"Hey," CJ called back. She was in the middle of dropping some fish flakes into Gail's bowl. "How're you feeling?"

Donna tried to give a convincing smile, but CJ saw right through it.

"It's going to be fine, Donna," CJ said consolingly. She grabbed her jacket and purse off the coat rack switly.

"Ready?"

Donna nodded, before muttering, "sure". Knowing it wasn't safe to discuss where they were going out in the open, the two made their way down the hallway silently until they were stopped by Toby, who was looking as stressed as ever.

"Donna, do you think I could run this by-"

"God, Toby, no," Donna immediately scolded, she was getting sick already of people in the office trying to slide work to Josh. "You should have seen him today after physical therapy. He could hardly keep his eyes open afterwards. The last thing he needs right now is stress from work. I don't want him having to deal with anything that will take away from his focus on recovery."

CJ's head tilted as she picked up on the second meaning behind Donna's words.

"Fine," Toby said bitterly. He paused and took in the two of them dressed in coats. "Going somewhere?"

CJ narrowed her gaze in warning. "Toby," she said slowly. Donna looked worriedly between the two but Toby quickly relented. Without another word he returned back to his office, and they heard the door close with an extra bit of force.

"Okay, this will be a little cold," Donna's doctor warned as she held a bottle full of gel. Donna was sat across an examining table. Her shirt was lifted to reveal her stomach that showed only the slightest hint of a bump.

"It's like you just ate an abnormally large burrito for lunch," CJ had commented, not hiding the bitterness or disbelief in her voice. Donna laughed, but had actually been taken by surprise at the tiny bump. With her focus so honed in on Josh's recovery she hadn't really taken the time to examine her belly or track its progress.

"It's still early, CJ," Donna told her. CJ didn't look mollified.

"You're going to be one of those women who barely looks pregnant the whole time and I'm going to end up feeling bad about myself," CJ said lightly. Her eyes twinkled as she looked at Donna and Donna appreciated CJ's attempts at making her laugh. Before Donna could reply, she gasped when the gel hit her bare skin and she felt CJ grab hold of her hand as they both looked towards the screen. There was a sea of black and white that Donna couldn't really make sense of. Her eyes narrowed as she tried to focus on the correct part. CJ did similar.

"Everything looks good," the doctor was telling them as she had her eyes on the screen. "It looks like you're a little over three months?" She turned her head to Donna in question and Donna nodded but said nothing. The ultrasound tool was moved around a little more before the doctor paused the screen and zoomed in.

"Right there, is your baby," she told Donna, pointing to the screen. Donna went very still as she stared intently at the little blob. After searching for a moment, tears began to fill Donna's eyes. A mixture of fear and excitement equally contributing.

"I don't see it," CJ said, squinting at the screen. The doctor tried to explain further but it did nothing to solve CJ's confusion.

"That looks more like a potato than a baby." Donna let out a laugh as she tried to discreetly wipe at her eyes.

The doctor printed Donna a few copies of the sonogram and then moved on to a lecture on the do's and don't's of pregnancy, handing Donna multiple pamphlets.

Twenty minutes later Donna and CJ were walking into the brisk, sunny afternoon.

"I still can't see it," CJ was saying in a frustrated voice as they stepped into the car, she was holding one of the sonograms in her hands. Donna laughed and pointed out the blob between two squiggly lines. CJ looked dubious as to if Donna was actually accurately placing the baby but said nothing.

"Wow," CJ said, still staring at the sonogram as Donna got into the passenger seat. "So that's really a little Josh Lyman in there, huh." Donna felt her stomach do a backflip.

"CJ, listen," she started. CJ paused and handed Donna back the sonogram.

"Thank you. I know how pissed you are at me and at Josh, but for you to put all that aside and be with me today. I can't tell you how much that means to me." CJ smiled warmly.

"Just because I'm pissed doesn't mean I stop caring about you or idiot boy, Donna." Donna laughed at Josh's nickname.

"And I know this can be," CJ paused. "I can only imagine how scary this must be."

"I feel awful that I haven't told Josh yet," Donna confessed, staring down at the sonograms. "This is awful isn't it? That he isn't here for this." Donna felt her eyes welling with tears again. She started to wonder if this was a side effect to the hormones.

"Donna, he wouldn't have been able to make it all the way down here anyways," CJ replied softly. "The man can hardly walk to the bathroom on his own right now."

"He's in a hospital! Maybe I should have just seen a doctor there." At this, CJ laughed out loud.

"Donna, you don't think that would be slightly suspicious when every nurse and doctor on Josh's floor sees him attending your ultrasound?"

Donna let out a nervous laugh. "I guess."

"You really do have to tell him soon though, Donna," CJ said, sobering now. "With Josh recovering we've got a bit of leeway with the press but, we still need to figure out a game plan." CJ gulped. "We have to figure out how to tell Leo."

Donna caught the meaning behind CJ's words. They had to find out if Leo would chose to fire Josh or not. Continuing to stare down at her ultrasound, Donna asked quietly, "how do you think Josh is going to react, CJ?".

CJ chewed on her lip for a moment before answering. "I don't know, Donna." Donna looked up at her and sighed. Silence descended over the two for a while and Donna's mind went through her own perfect world scenario again where her and Josh would be able to celebrate this news freely and be unabashedly happy. A world where they were together and it wasn't a scandal, where nobody else cared. A world where her anxiety could be solely placed on the normal fears of parenthood instead of being afraid of harming a President's legacy.

CJ tilted her head as she watched her friend.

"Donna, you are allowed to be happy, you know," she said kindly. Donna wiped at her eyes and shook her head.

"CJ, I'm single and pregnant with a man's baby that could destroy the reputation of the White House and could lead to us both losing our jobs. The father of my baby was just shot in the chest and can hardly walk and he doesn't even know I'm pregnant. I don't even know how or when I'm supposed to tell him since I'm worried that when I do tell him it'll cause him to have some kind of medical set back." A few more tears fell down Donna's cheeks and she wiped away at them again furiously. "And these stupid hormones keep making me cry all the time."

CJ smiled sympathetically and reached out a hand, placing it on Donna's forearm.

"Hey, it's not like the father of your baby is just some guy off the street," CJ said carefully. "We all see how you two are with each other, Donna. That's why we were always so afraid of something like this happening. You two are inseparable. You're best friends." A small, watery smile came to Donna's lips at CJ's words.

"Having a baby with your best friend is a lot better than having a baby with some one night stand you'd never want to call again."

"Yeah," Donna agreed quietly. Her hand went to her belly again and this time she paid attention at the small bump she felt there. "If he wants anything to do with us."

At this, CJ gave Donna a disbelieving smile. "Donna, I don't know how Josh is going to react, but I know for sure he's not going to be abandoning you. He would never do that."

"His whole career is at stake, CJ," Donna said shaking her head. "He loves his job. It's what he's worked for his whole life."

"Sure," CJ allowed. "But he loves you too."

Donna stared at CJ for a moment before shaking her head. "You shouldn't say things like that."

"Yeah," CJ agreed. "It's true though."

Donna looked down at her lap and said nothing as a finger lightly traced the slight swell of her stomach. She simply thought of the image of Josh, holding their baby in his arms, smiling.

Watching Donna's hand, CJ rolled her eyes and tried to lighten the mood.

"I can already tell this is going to be awful watching you stay skinnier than me even though you're pregnant," CJ muttered.

Donna put on a smile and laughed. "What are you talking about CJ, you're as thin as anyone."

"I mean, I guess, but still." CJ gave Donna a warm smile and reached for her keys to start the car.

"It's going to be fine, Donna. Whatever happens." The rumble of the engine shock the car around them.

"Yeah," Donna whispered. She was looking down at the sonogram again and this time she indulged in the small, warm feeling it brought to her chest.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** She's gonna tell Josh soon. I promise. Until then! Here's the next chapter.

* * *

When Donna got back to the hospital later that night armed with doctor approved dinner, she found Josh still asleep. She set up dinner at a table in the room and grabbed the remote from Josh's lax hand. She clicked through the limited channels on the hospital TV and smiled when she came across Friends. Settling back with her food, she propped her feet up on another chair. After her talk with CJ, she was feeling better than she had since she found out she was pregnant. She flicked a glance over to Josh who was still fast asleep and silently hoped her good mood was allowed to last a little longer.

About 45 minutes had past and Donna had finished her food. She walked into the bathroom to wash her hands and paused in front of the mirror. Turning sideways, she studied the profile of her silhouette. Having just ate dinner, Donna noticed her bump was even more pronounced. She ran a hand over it and allowed herself a small smile. Remembering what her doctor had told her about maternity clothes, Donna wondered how long she could hold out until she had to cave in and buy some. Until she told Josh, Donna made a mental note to wear baggier clothes around him.

After finishing washing up in the bathroom, Donna walked out to see Josh still fast asleep. A frown came to her face. Josh still spent a lot of his time asleep, but to have been asleep this long uninterrupted worried Donna. He had been asleep hours on end. She waited until one of the nurses came in for rounds before she said anything, not wanting to overreact.

"How's he doing?" a nurse asked, twenty minutes later when she entered the room and picked up Josh's chart from the end of the bed.

"He's been asleep for a long time," Donna told her, trying to keep her voice neutral.

"Hm," the nurse replied as she read Josh's chart, not looking up.

"More than normal?" the nurse asked half to herself as she continued to analyze the chart.

Donna nodded. "I'd say so."

The nurse made a note on Josh's chart before putting a hand to Josh's forehead. She then pulled out a thermometer from one of her shirt's pockets. Donna watched closely as the nurse studied the reading and felt dread in the pit of her stomach when the nurse pulled the thermometer away with a frown.

"What is it?" Donna asked quickly.

"Fever of 102.1," the nurse replied. The dread in Donna's stomach immediately began to spread like wildfire throughout her body. They were supposed to have been past the dangerous stage. Within a few minutes, Josh's doctor walked in as the nurse filled him on Josh's vitals. He wasted no time as he shook Josh lightly by the shoulder until he awoke.

"How are you feeling, Josh?" the doctor asked. Josh looked bleary eyed and a little confused. He sniffed a few times.

"Not good," Josh replied honestly and Donna could hear the congestion in his voice.

"We're doing some blood work now, but we think you might be coming down with the flu, Josh," his doctor told him, getting straight to the point.

"Is that something to be worried about?" Donna asked immediately. She was trying to stay calm. The doctor didn't seem too concerned.

"We'll keep an eye on it. It's not going to be a fun time for Josh unfortunately, but it would have been a lot worse a week ago." The doctor left the nurse with some instructions and then walked out of the room.

Josh quickly fell back asleep and the nurse checked her watch with a knowing glance at Donna.

"Visiting hours are over, sweetie." Donna looked upset.

"He's sick!"

"Good thing he's in a hospital," the nurse replied. "Go home and get some sleep."

"Donna," the nurse added when Donna didn't move.

Donna looked thoroughly unhappy at being made to leave. The nurses had grown used to her resisting and after letting Donna stay the first few nights, her leeway with them had worn off.

"You'll call me if anything happens?"

"Yes."

The next morning Donna was at the hospital as soon as visiting hours opened. She found a nurse in Josh's room as she entered.

"How'd it go?" Donna asked. Her gaze immediately became worried as she took in the sight on Josh asleep on the bed. There were dark circles under his eyes and his face looked white as a sheet. There was stubble on his cheeks.

"He had a bit of a rough time," the nurse said sympathetically. "He was vomiting most of the night and is still running a fever, can't keep anything down." Donna immediately felt fury at being forced to leave when Josh was so miserable.

"How did that react with his chest?" Donna questioned anxiously.

"There was some pain," the nurse conceded. "We've up his painkillers for the time being until this passes." She made a few more notes on Josh's clipboard before stepping out of the room.

With a sigh, Donna seated herself next to Josh. She put a hand up to his forehead and could feel the heat still radiating there. At her touch, she saw Josh's eyes flicker open.

"You're back," he muttered. There was a raspy quality to his voice that reminded Donna of his voice right after the surgery.

"I heard you had a bad night," Donna said sympathetically. She could tell he had when all he did was nod feebly at her words. He just genuinely didn't seem to have the energy to do anything else.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Josh turned to look at her and simply grabbed one of her hands and squeezed.

"I hate this," he said quietly. Donna nodded.

"Me too," she said honestly. Josh sunk back into his pillows. CNN was playing on the TV. Donna was assured just how crappy Josh had to be feeling since he wasn't even bothering to answer back to the pundits on TV.

"Hey, Leo's coming to visit today," Donna, wanting to distract him. That got his attention. Leo had only really been to visit when Josh was either unconscious or had been in such a rough state, he couldn't remember. They'd spoken on the phone, but otherwise Josh hadn't seen much of the White House Chief of Staff. With all the chaos in the fallout from the shooting and no President to lead the charge, Leo had been at the White House constantly.

"When?"

"Hey, kid." Josh turned to see Leo walking into the room, hands in his pockets. His famous smirk quickly turned into a genuine smile when he saw Josh was awake.

"Hey," Josh said back. At hearing him speak, Leo frowned.

"You got a cold or something?"

"The flu apparently," Josh replied miserably.

"How the hell did you get a flu in a hospital? Don't they clean everything like seven times a day?" Josh shrugged listlessly and Leo was taken aback by just how lacking in energy Josh was. By all accounts he had heard Josh was at least noticeably himself now after his surgery, not physically up to speed, but mentally. Leo frowned at this set back. Spotting Donna in the corner, Leo turned to her.

"How ya doin, Donna?" he called over to her.

"I'm okay, Leo," Donna replied politely. "You?"

"We're getting by," Leo said honestly. Donna nodded sympathetically. She was in the White House sporadically trying to tidy things up for Josh's office and the days she was in were hectic from the moment she stepped across the threshold. She felt grateful she grabbed one of her baggier sweaters today. Though it still wasn't blatantly obvious she was pregnant, she didn't want to take any chances around Leo. At the thought of having to tell him, Donna felt nerves tingle in her stomach.

"Is it bad?" Josh asked from the bed. Donna sighed mentally.

"Nothing we can't handle, kid," Leo said, seamlessly reading the situation.

"But-"

"No offense, Josh, but I really don't think we need you," Leo told him, half joking. Josh's face curved into a slight smile but he didn't reply and Donna felt grateful that Leo knew Josh as well as he did.

"You gonna be alright?" Leo asked after a moment of studying Josh's face. "I can come back another time."

Josh rubbed his right hand across his face. "I'm alright, Leo."

"I have something important to tell you, but I don't want to tell you if you're not up for it," Leo said honestly. Josh tried to sit up a little further. He managed it with a wince, but Leo looked to Donna instead.

"Donna?"

Donna smirked at the look of disbelief on Josh's face.

"I can-"

Leo shushed him with a finger, his eyes still on Donna. Donna flicked her eyes to Josh for a moment and then nodded at Leo.

"I think he's okay for right now. He'll probably be asleep again soon though," Donna said honestly, though she worried when another bout of nausea would hit Josh.

"I'm not four," Josh pouted from the bed, he would have crossed his arms if his left one would cooperate. Ignoring his complaints, Leo pulled up a chair close to Josh's bed and sat down, his face set.

"Leo, wha-"

"I just wanted to fill you in on what we know from the shooting," Leo began. Josh nodded, his mouth a thin line.

"The shooters weren't shooting at the President, or you, or Toby, or CJ," Leo sighed. "They were shooting at Charlie."

"What?!" Josh exclaimed. His excitement caused him to cough a couple of times and Leo looked panicked as her glanced over at Donna, who mouthed "he's okay" back.

"Cause he's black?" Josh asked after he caught his breath.

"And dating the President's daughter, yes," Leo answered somberly.

"That's insane," Josh said bitterly. "They wanted to kill Ch-" he broke off and looked away, the idea to painful to speak out loud.

"Does Charlie know?"

Leo nodded. "We told him the night it happened." Josh ran a hand over his face and let his head sink back into the pillow.

"Poor Charlie," he muttered. "Is that why he hasn't come to see me?"

"We got him to agree to come today. I think he's bringing Zoey with him too. So if you could try to not have the flu when he gets here so he doesn't feel more guilty," Leo said lightly. Josh gave a half shrug.

"If wishing made it so." Josh's eyes flicked to Leo when he noticed Leo's gaze lingering on him.

"What?" Josh asked, concerned. Leo's face brook into a crinkled smile.

"Nothin."

"Leo."

"It's just good to see you, Josh," Leo said earnestly. "I mean you look like crap, but at least you seem a little more like you again." Josh gave a lazy smirk, but said nothing back. Leo glanced up at Donna who simply nodded. The pain meds Josh was on were kicking in and he was growing drowsier by the minute. His eyelids were drooping dangerously.

"I'll be back soon, okay?" Leo said to him. Josh managed a quiet "kay" before drifting off completely. Once he had, Leo sighed deeply.

"How's he been Donna? Really," Leo asked her. Now that she had Leo's full attention, Donna unconsciously placed both arms across her middle, trying to hide as much as possible.

"He was doing better," Donna began. "He was grumpy about physical therapy, but this flu has set him back. He was in a lot of pain last night according to the nurses." She paused. "He said he feels useless cause he's not helping at the White House."

Leo sighed at that and stood up. "Yeah, I figured. Guy gets shot in the chest and he's still got to feel guilty about something."

"You should have seen him when we told him the President got shot," Donna said in a low voice. Leo gave a tight smile and let his gaze linger on Josh's face once more.

"You know, I've know this kid since he was three-years-old and I think this is the first time I've ever seen him sit still," Leo said with a far away look in his eye. Donna's hand twitched slightly to try and reach for her belly, but she resisted the urge with Leo right there.

She swallowed and tried not to imagine what her and Josh's baby would look like at three years old. Would their kid have curly hair? Blonde hair or brown? Blue eyes or hazel? Looking that far ahead almost made Donna feel a little light headed. Would her and Josh make it that far? Would they survive the press fallout from this story? There were too many unanswered questions at this point. Would Josh even be involved with her three-year-old's life?

As her mind traversed that question, Donna's whole face dropped. It wasn't really an avenue she had explored much, but she supposed it was possible. What if Josh wanted nothing to do with her or the baby?

"Donna?" Leo asked after a moment. Donna quickly looked up and refocused. She gave a nervous laugh.

"Sorry. I just can't imagine a three-year-old, Josh," she said, trying not to let any of her emotions show. Her nerves increased at the odd look Leo gave her. The look he gave to those he was trying to figure out. Donna looked down and silently swore to herself. Now Leo was suspicious.

"Imagine the Josh Lyman you know, but just make him shorter," Leo said simply. At that Donna laughed.

"Everything alright, Donna?" Leo asked her.

Trying her best not to sound flustered, Donna replied back, "Yeah, course. I mean, it's been stressful with everything happening with Josh, but at least he's still here and getting better and he got to see CJ, Toby, and Sam the other day so that's good." Donna mentally kicked herself for rambling. Leo still looked suspicious.

"Just stress from his recovery?"

"Yes," Donna said as earnestly as possible. Leo gave a slow nod and Donna knew she didn't convince him. He stood up and started making his way to the door.

"I'm heading back to the White House, but Donna?"

"Yeah?"

"Try and make sure he's careful with Charlie, would ya?" Donna nodded.

"Of course I will."

"Charlie's been in really rough shape over this." Donna frowned, she realized she hadn't really seen Charlie at all since the night of the shooting.

"Don't worry, Leo." He nodded to her gratefully and turned to leave once more before he stopped.

"If you have anything on your mind, Donna," he began, not fully turning around as he spoke. "My door's always open, okay?"

Donna sat in shock for a moment at Leo's words. The man had always been kind to her, but to extend a hand that far was extremely touching to her.

"Thank you, Leo," she said earnestly.

"It makes me feel better that he has somebody with him like you to help take care of him. Thank you for being there for him."

Donna gave a small laugh.

"Wouldn't have it any other way," she said easily.

"Right," Leo replied. "Okay, I need to go back to the White House. I'll be back to visit soon I promise." They said their goodbyes and then he was gone.

Donna let her eyes drift down to Josh who was fast asleep. Her hand went to her belly again and she let out a deep sigh. She needed to tell him. She wanted to tell him, but every time she came close to doing it her guilt would stop her. Telling him when he was about to see Charlie wouldn't be fair. Nor would it be fair when he could hardly stay awake for more than an hour or two at a time. Donna reached out a hand to Josh's forehead and grimaced when it still felt warm.

Two hours later, Donna stood leaned up against the door jam of the bathroom. She was looking down at a pitiful looking Josh who was hunched over the toilet bowl awkwardly with a look of sharp pain on his face. Josh had been throwing up for the past half hour and the pain it was causing him was hard for Donna to watch. The extra dosage of pain medications he was on seemed to be helping a little bit, but Donna still watched Josh routinely feel around his chest wound to see if he'd pulled at stitches. With a groan, Donna saw him shift positions until he was sat against the wall besides the toilet. His eyes were squeezed tight.

"Josh?"

He didn't answer right away and Donna quietly wet a washcloth for him. She handed it to him without a word and he wiped at his mouth a few times.

"I don't think I've ever been this tired in my life," he said. His voice was even more rough now, to the point where it sounded as though he was close to losing it completely.

"You ready to get back into bed?" Donna asked.

"Gimme a minute," Josh sighed. He felt like he had no energy left in his whole body. His chest was radiating with sharp pains that shot from his lungs to his toes to his head and were emphasized by the typical aches and pains one gets with the flu.

When Josh didn't make any move to get up, Donna made her way over to him and crouched besides him. She put an arm underneath Josh's and tried to pull him up. Almost immediately Josh cried out in pain and Donna immediately ceased her efforts, muttering quick apologies.

"Uh." Charlie was standing in the doorway, looking shaken.

"Charlie!" Donna exclaimed. She looked between the two men quickly. Josh hadn't even seemed to register that Charlie was there, he was too distracted by the exhaustion.

"Is everything-"

"Charlie, can you come help me get him to the bed," Donna asked as politely as possible while under pressure. Charlie immediately rushed over to the pair and took over from where Donna was.

Josh still gave sharp grunts of pain as Charlie pulled him up, but at least they were moving this time. Donna watched from behind as Charlie quickly maneuvered across the room with Josh hanging off his shoulder.

"You're okay," Charlie tried to sooth as he lowered Josh onto the bed as carefully as possible.

Charlie took a step back with fear in his eyes and Donna stepped up beside him.

"It's alright, Charlie," she told him quietly, but Charlie didn't respond. He just stood transfixed staring at Josh in horror. He remained still on the bed with his eyes closed.

"He's fine, Charlie, really," Donna continued, a hand on Charlie's arm now.

"Says you," Josh spoke up from the bed, sounding like crap. His voice was as rough as it had been earlier. His eyes were still closed, but the pain seemed to be fading.

"You're just dramatic," Donna said back promptly. "You should be happy Charlie was here to help now that you get to wear your own pajamas instead of when you were wearing that stunning hospital gown." Josh finally opened his eyes and looked at Donna with a lazy smile.

"You see what I'm dealing with here, Charlie?" Josh said. Charlie still looked frightened but lightened up a little bit at Josh and Donna's familiar banter.

"I think you should do what Donna says," Charlie said tentatively. Donna moved around the bed and took her customary spot to the right of Josh's bed by the window.

"Always knew you were a smart one, Charlie," Donna said warmly. Charlie, taking a cue from Donna, also sat down in a chair.

"You sure you're okay?" Charlie said to Josh, worry etched all over his face.

"I'll be fine," Josh said hesitantly. The reality was that he felt as awful as he'd ever felt. His head hurt, his sinuses were blocked, and he kept getting waves of nausea that made his chest burn like he'd never felt before. Leo's words were running through Josh's head though, and Josh didn't want Charlie to see how bad he actually felt.

"I'm sorry," Charlie muttered, looking down.

"For what?" Josh asked genuinely.

"For everything."

"Charlie," Josh started as he closed his eyes and rested his head against the pillows.

"I'm serious, Josh," Charlie said, cutting him off. Josh blinked at him.

"Serious about what?" Josh asked. "Did you shoot me in the chest?"

Charlie looked confused.

"Well no, but-"

"Charlie, no offense, but it's pretty stupid if you think you're the reason I'm sitting in this bed."

"Josh, the reason you got shot is cause Zoey and I are together. It's because I'm the one dating the President's daughter."

"Brag about it."

"Josh!"

"Charlie, I don't blame you for what happened," Josh said simply, he was speaking slowly, trying hard not to slur his words. "I blame the nut jobs who shot me."

"Still, if I had never started-"

"Charlie. You didn't do anything wrong," Josh said. "If you want someone to blame, blame me. I hired you in the first place. You two never would have met if it wasn't for me."

Charlie's face seemed to relax marginally as he let a small smile show.

"Josh-"

"Charlie, they missed you and hit a Jew. They're not gonna be too upset about that."

After few moments of silence passed between them, Josh spoke up again.

"Can you talk to me about baseball or somethin?" Josh asked in his whiniest voice. "The channels we get at the hospital suck."

"So do the Mets," Charlie replied easily. At Josh's wounded look, he smiled.

"Sorry."

"I'm sick, you gotta be nice to me," Josh pouted. Charlie smirked back.

"Just cause you're sick doesn't change the facts."

"And I'm injured," Josh continued. "Can't you at least lie to me about the Mets?"

"You're awake!" came an excited shout from the doorway. Everyone looked over to see Zoey walking in, beaming at Josh.

"Hey, squirt," Josh called over to her. Donna frowned as she saw the usual fatigue setting in over Josh, she could hear it in his voice now especially.

Zoey came straight up to the bed and made to hug Josh before looking panicked at Donna for permission.

"I don't wanna get you sick, Zoey," Josh told her before Donna could answer.

"Oh, yeah, you don't sound so good," Zoey said frowning. "You're sick?"

"I have the flu," Josh said, sounding miserable. Zoey's face fell.

"That's awful. How did you get the flu in the hospital?"

"There's germs everywhere," Josh said simply.

"So I guess you're feeling pretty crappy," Zoey said, frowning. Josh simply nodded, running out of every fast. Noticing this, Zoey turned her attention to Donna.

"How're you feeling Donna?" Donna felt a jolt of panic shoot through her at Zoey's words. She took a moment to compose herself before realizing there's no way Zoey could know anything. She was just being polite.

"I'm fine, Zoey, thanks for asking," Donna replied, trying to keep her voice level.

"Josh sure is lucky to have you," Zoey said with a smile. From the bed, Josh let out a slurred "I'll say".

Zoey looked back to Josh and stood up.

"Maybe we should come back another time."

"I'm fine," Josh muttered with his eyes closed. Zoey gazed upon him with an amused smile.

"Josh, you're about to fall asleep."

"I haven't seen you in a while," Josh muttered back, though he was practically squinting at her through heavy eyelids. Zoey smiled at him affectionately which caused Donna to smile at the pair of them. Josh had always been great with Zoey. From their earliest days on the campaign, Josh had always taken the time to talk with her. He never made her feel like she wasn't worth his time.

There was one night Donna had walked in to see the two of them in the hotel dining room, working on a paper Zoey had due that coming Wednesday. When Donna had asked Josh what he was doing, Josh had replied he was helping Zoey, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world and who wouldn't be helping this kid with their paper?

"I'm not going anywhere, Josh," Zoey said with a large smile on her face. Josh gave a grunt back as an answer, but his head with dipping down to his chest now. Zoey gave a look to Charlie.

"You okay?"

Charlie nodded, "I'm alright." Zoey searched his face until she felt she had gauged his honestly.

"Okay." She turned to Donna.

"We'll come back when he's feeling better," Zoey said as she stood up. "Poor Josh."

"Yeah, it's been pretty lousy," Donna said with a grimace.

"I'll see you later, Donna."

They said their goodbyes and Donna settled back into her chair with a new magazine and began reading. She twirled a strand of hair around her finger absently as her eyes made their way across the pages. Without realizing it, she started tracing lazy patters on her belly with a finger. She never noticed Josh watching her through half lidded eyes, trying to make sense of what she was doing.


	8. Chapter 8

Josh was finally back at home. He had been home for the past two days. His body had recovered from the flu, but getting around still wasn't easy for him. He had regained some mobility, but it was stamina at this point that was his major problem. In no time at all he would become out of breath.

Josh took solace in the fact that he could at least move around more freely now. As long as he didn't attempt to go too far, he felt like he had a large amount of freedom back. He was still on a long list of medications and had Donna hovering daily, but each passing day he felt himself get a little bit stronger.

"Josh?" a voice called from the door.

"Hey," Josh called back. He walked from the kitchen with a can of Coke in his hand and plopped down on the couch. He still felt an uncomfortable pull on his muscles at certain muscles when he made certain movements.

"You okay?" Donna asked upon seeing the small grimace on his face.

"Yep," Josh answered, sounding only slightly strained. Donna looked skeptical as she sat in the chair next to the sofa. She dropped her bag in front of her and starting sifting through it looking for something.

"I have your prescription," she was muttering.

"Ah ha!" she grabbed onto the paper bag holding the pill bottles and tugged it upwards quickly, causing a whole host of other items to come spilling out of the bag.

"Shit," Donna muttered as she scrambled to gather everything.

Eager to prove he was getting his mobility back, Josh quickly dropped to scoop up Donna's fallen materials. As he stood up though, his eyes read the label on a bottle in his hand. It was a bottle of prenatal vitamins. The world seemed to come grinding to a sudden halt as he stared down at the bottle and his eyes widened in shock as he took in the implications. His head whipped up to Donna and he swallowed heavily. Donna too looked frozen in fear.

"I-." Josh started briefly before his mouth shut. He looked up at the ceiling as he quickly did the math in his head as to when him and Donna had slept together. The ball of anxiety at the pit of his stomach exploded into fear as he started shaking his head.

"D-Donna are you," his voice shook and faded, he couldn't finish the sentence. Donna, her eyes never leaving Josh's face, gave a slow, terrified nod.

"H-how could you not tell me this?" Josh said as his mouth hung open in shock. "Is it mine?"

"Yes, but Josh-"

"Shit," Josh started muttering to himself. "Shit, shit shit."

"Josh-"

"You didn't think I had a right to know!?"

"Of course I-"

"I can't believe you would just not-" Josh cut himself off and turned away, a hand held up against his chest.

"Josh," Donna said again, this time as sharply as possible without yelling, desperate to get his attention. Josh stopped pacing and looked at her. Donna noted the sweat on his brow already.

"The day I found out was the day you got shot," she said, trying to stay calm. "How was I supposed to tell you when you were stuck in that hospital bed and could hardly breathe?"

"Donna," Josh said in a dangerous tone. "How many hours did we spend in that hospital room alone, you could have told me at ANY time-" Josh cut himself off again sharply with a sharp grunt of pain. This time he had to sit down. He started massaging his chest as his face twisted in pain.

"Seriously Josh? You wonder why I didn't tell you?" Donna asked harshly, her arm gesturing towards him. "You could hardly deal with not being able to talk about work. You would get yourself upset up about it every day. And you wonder why I didn't want to tell you about a baby?" Her last word rung out across the room and she saw Josh's face register panic again as she actually acknowledged their child for the first time.

"Donna. I was fine," he growled out after a moment. "When DID you plan to tell me?" The bite in Josh's tone was something Donna had very rarely if ever had directed at her before. It was the tone Josh used at his most combative.

"You were fine when you were asleep the majority of the day because your body didn't have the energy to do anything else? Fine when you could hardly walk during your PT sessions? Fine when you had the flu and could barely make it to the bathroom to puke your guts out?" Donna demanded. "Are you really that delusional to think you were fine for those three and a half weeks in the hospital?"

Josh glared at her but said nothing, he folded his arms across his chest. He then focused his gaze on a single spot on the floor and didn't look up. Donna could tell he was running through the same disaster scenarios she had been through a hundred times.

"Josh-"

"I'm gonna get fired," Josh said simply, running a hand over his mouth. "Leo's gonna tear me a new one. That's if there's anything left of me after CJ is done." Josh leaned back into the sofa looking utterly miserable. "And Toby."

"Josh, they'll be upset but-"

"You think?!" Josh demanded, his voice rising dangerously loud again. "You think they'll be a little upset that I got my assistant pregnant?" Speaking the truth out loud, made Josh's face twist into deep lines of misery and he had to catch his breath.

Donna remained standing, feeling increasingly more upset and uncomfortable by the second. She knew Josh's reaction was never going to be pure positivity from the get go, but Donna couldn't help but be dismayed at just how badly he was taking this. He looked lost sitting on the sofa, staring into space.

At the sting of tears behind her eyes, Donna quickly muttered out. "Maybe I should go."

"Yeah," Josh agreed absentmindedly, he seemed a million miles away. With a sniff, Donna picked up her bag and quickly made her way out of the apartment. Before shutting the door, she took one last look at Josh and saw he hadn't moved an inch. The second the door was closed, Donna let the tears cascade freely down her cheeks, not bothering to hide it as she got to her car. Once safely inside, she placed her arms across the steering wheel and leaned her head against it and sobbed.

It was around 10 minutes later when Josh finally registered that Donna had left. He blinked a few times as he broke free from his own thoughts. He looked around the apartment and realized it was empty. A crushing guilt washed over him.

"Shit," he muttered to himself. "Shit, shit, shit." He made his way over to the window as fast as his still largely broken body would allow to look for Donna's car on the street and found no sign of it.

"Fuck," Josh muttered as he leaned back onto the windowsill. Had he really just let Donna leave? Cursing himself he slowly walked over to his phone and picked it up. Before dialing, he paused and soon fell back onto the sofa again.

He was furious with her for keeping this a secret for so long, but at the same time, he could see where she was coming from. Hadn't his reaction just proved Donna right anyways? He absentmindedly started rubbing at his chest again.

When he thought of Leo and the staff finding out, he felt prickles of pain dot across his chest. He didn't know how much sympathy he would have left after the shooting now. Josh thought of Donna again and he felt his throat tighten with emotion. Had she been carrying the burden of this news on her own for however many weeks?

Josh groaned out loud as he replayed his reaction to the news in his head. He knew Donna. Whether or not he agreed with her keeping the news from him, he had no trouble believing she was doing it out of a belief that it would protect him in some way.

"Donna," Josh muttered sadly. He reached out for the phone again and began dialing.

Donna was curled up with a blanket on her bed, still shaking from the tears that had wracked her body. All the stress she had been feeling over the baby, over Josh's recovery, over the frenzy this situation could cause all came rushing out. All the emotion she had been trying to hold back for weeks was finally released.

Josh's reaction hadn't exactly taken her by surprise, but there was a harshness to his tone that Donna had never had directed at her before and it left her terrified about where her and Josh would go from here.

With a shaky sigh she pushed herself off the bed and started to walk to the bathroom. She stripped off layers of clothes off as she went until she was just down to a tank top, and grabbed a pair of sweatpants from the dresser.

Scrubbing her face clean of all makeup, she tried not to think about the past hour. She lowered her head down to the sink to splash water on her face and when she came back up, she caught her own reflection in the mirror and grimaced.

Red splotches covered her cheeks and her eyes were red rimmed. Her eyes travelled down further and landed on the small, but now clear bump. Her tank top had ridden up slightly to reveal an expanse of Donna's stomach. She was still able to get away with baggy tops and layers, and her pants still buttoned, but now a thread of worry wove itself through Donna's mind as she wondered for how much longer it would be until she was unable to hide it.

Donna turned to the side curiously as she gazed in the mirror and ran a hand over her belly with a sigh. At least Josh knew now and she could stop fretting over telling him.

She jumped as she heard the phone ring and she let her eyes travel through the open door of the bathroom to her nightstand to stare at it. Not trusting herself to speak yet, she let it ring out. There was a beep from the phone and then Josh's voice rang out across her bedroom.

"Hey," he began slowly. "It's me. I-" she heard Josh take a deep breath. "I'm really sorry. Please call me back. Please." The line went dead and Donna felt the slightest bit of hope ignite within her. That was a Josh she recognized. She looked back into the mirror and her eyes landed on her belly again. She thought of the way Josh reacted and cringed. Her eyes shot to the phone again and she looked down before shaking her head. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet.

After finishing up in the bathroom and grabbing a loose cardigan, Donna headed to the kitchen and started brewing some tea. She enjoyed the warmth that spread through her fingers as she picked up the steaming mug. She held it there for a long time without taking a sip, her eyes glazed over as her mind wandered. What if she called Josh back and he was still angry?

She jumped as the phone went off again. She bit her lip as she stared at it and looked away. Still not ready. The phone rang out and Donna heard the answering machine start up again.

"Donna, what the hell is going on?" It was Sam this time, sounding panicked. "Josh just called me freaking out about how he needs me to drive him to your place or else he's going to try and go himself and we both know that's an awful idea, he'd only make it to the sidewalk before collapsing. Please call-"

Donna swiped up the phone.

"Sam?"

"Donna!" Sam sounded incredibly relieved. "Is everything okay?"

Donna didn't answer right away.

"Donna?"

"Sam, I'll call Josh, okay? Don't worry about it. I'll make sure he stays put."

"Donna..."

"Sam, don't worry about it right now. You'll find out soon enough," Donna said, her voice growing quiet towards the end of her sentence.

"Donna," Sam said again. "Are you sure everything's okay?"

Donna felt tears prickling her eyes again.

"I gotta go Sam. I'll talk to Josh." And with that she hung up the phone. She held the phone face down on the counter for a long time trying to compose herself with her eyes closed. She then quietly moved back to the bedroom. With a deep breath she pulled the phone up to her chest and pressed Josh's speed dial with her thumb.

He picked up on the first ring.

"Donna?" his voice sounded frantic.

"Hi," she replied quietly. She sat on the floor with her back pressed up against the side of her bed. She looked down and saw her belly poking out of the tank top again. She placed her hand there and closed her eyes.

"Donna," Josh started. She could hear the pain in his voice. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

When Donna didn't respond, he kept going.

"It's just so much to deal with and I didn't act like I should have and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," Donna allowed.

"C-can you come back over?" Josh asked tentatively. "Please? I'd come to you, but I'd probably collapse by the time I got to the front door," he finished glumly. A silence stretched out between them.

"Okay," Donna finally agreed quietly. It was still around 7, so the sun hadn't fully gone down yet. Not having the energy to change, she grabbed her purse and a jacket and walked out the door as is. Ten minutes later she was knocking on Josh's front door. It opened immediately. So quickly that it made Donna jump.

"Sorry," Josh said apologetically. "I've been sitting by the door a while so I wouldn't have to make you wait while I got up to answer it." Donna gave him a small smile before stepping over the threshold and Josh shut the door behind her. They both stood there awkwardly for a moment, neither knowing how to navigate the situation.

"I ordered Chinese food," Josh said suddenly. Donna's eyebrows perked up at that. Chinese food sounded delicious to her right now.

"You're not supposed to have Chinese food," she said sternly. Donna started to pull off her jacket and tossed it over a chair. She turned her head back to Josh to find him staring at her with his mouth slightly agape. He was staring right at her belly, which was showing again as her tank top struggled to cover the whole thing. Donna self-consciously pulled her cardigan around her and Josh's eyes snapped back up to her face.

"Whoa," he muttered. "Donna-"

"Let's sit down," Donna said, ushering Josh to the table. She sat down and watched as Josh slowly made his way over, using the furniture to help balance him as he walked. When he finally sat down, Donna began.

"I'm 14 weeks. The doctor said everything looks good and the baby is healthy."

"So I guess you're keeping it then," Josh said, his voice sounding unsure. Donna frowned.

"You don't want me to?" Josh immediately started sputtering denials.

"I want you to." Donna felt the load off her shoulder lift marginally. "Keep it. I mean."

"Good," Donna said quietly.

"I-I," Josh began. He was having difficulty not stuttering. Donna cut him off by reaching into her bag. She searched for a moment, leaving Josh in suspense before pulling out an ultrasound photo. She slid it across the table to him.

"What is this?" Josh asked as he pulled it closer to himself with his right arm.

"That's your baby," Donna said simply. Josh's eyes flicked up to her in shock for a moment before they began hungrily scanning the photo. Donna couldn't help the smile that came to her lips as she saw the absolute wonder in Josh's eyes. He was staring down at the sonogram like it was nothing he'd ever seen before.

"Wow," he muttered. After several long moments had passed, Josh finally looked up.

"Are you, you know. How are you doing?" he asked nervously. This was a completely different Josh than Donna had been faced with a little while ago. This was a Josh she could deal with.

"Tired," Donna said honestly. "But at least I'm not throwing up anymore."

"You were throwing up?" Josh asked urgently, as though it was the most awful thing to ever happen to someone. "When? Is that normal?"

Donna let out a laugh.

"In the beginning. Yes, it's normal."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there," Josh said, looking supremely guilty.

"Not really much you could do about it," Donna said, loosening up a little now.

"I guess not."

Josh picked up the sonogram again and gazed at it with the same marvel he had before.

"Do I get to go to the next one?" he asked.

"Next what?"

"Doctor's appointment thing. Wherever they print out these weird pictures," Josh said, waving the sonogram a little bit.

"You want to?" Donna asked. She wanted to make sure. Josh looked at her in disbelief for a second.

"Of COURSE I'm sure, Donna. God," he said, staring at her. "What did you think I'd just take off and make you go through this on your own?"

Donna shrugged shyly.

Josh looked mortified. "Donna. I'm sorry about before." Donna nodded.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but you have to know it wasn't out of spite or anything. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you. I just didn't want to make your recovery harder. There was a lot going on."

Josh nodded. "I know." Donna felt relieved to hear that. They sat in silence for a while.

"So that's our kid huh," Josh said in small voice, clearly in awe as he stared down at the sonogram again.

"Yep," Donna confirmed. She watched closely as Josh continued to stare down at the black and white image. He had a tentative smile on his lips, which in turn made Donna smile. She saw as the invasive thoughts about how to deal with work came to his mind. His smile fell into a deep frown.

"We gotta tell, CJ," Josh half whispered. He suddenly looked terrified.

"CJ already knows."

"What?!"

"She was kind of the one who guessed and made me take a pregnancy test," Donna shrugged.

"CJ knows and I still have my-" Josh stopped as he looked at Donna. "You know."

"Guess getting shot wasn't all bad," Donna said lightly. Josh gave a short laugh before leaning back in his chair.

"What are we gonna do, Donna?" Josh asked miserably. His voice came out no louder than a whisper.

"What do you wanna do?" Josh's eyes rose slowly to meet Donna's. The amount left unsaid between them was suddenly deafening. Josh's face fell as he shook his head.

"I donno."

Donna's face fell slightly.

"I mean, do you want to be involved? Beyond just... doctor's appointments?" she asked, trying to sound casual. As though it wasn't a big thing they were discussing.

Josh nodded solemnly.

"Yeah," he said simply. Donna frowned at the lack of enthusiasm.

"Josh?" she prompted.

"I'm just," he stood up and placed his hands on the back on his chair to steady himself.

"I donno how useful I'm gonna be to my kid when I can't support it since I'm gonna be fired."

"Let's call CJ over," Donna suggested softly.

"Okay," Josh replied sounded defeated. His shoulders sagged as he sat down again and leaned his arms forward to rest against the table.

Twenty minutes later, Donna saw Josh flinch as a knock came from the door. In any other situation she would have made a joke, but with their jobs on the line, it didn't feel appropriate. Donna got up slowly and made her way over to the door. Josh couldn't even bring himself to look as Donna invited CJ in. He remained stock still at the kitchen table, his eyes anywhere but CJ and Donna.

He heard CJ ask Donna if she was okay and briefly wondered if she would extend that kindness to him. He felt panic rise in him as Donna and CJ exchanged a few quiet words and his head snapped to the door as Donna left the apartment.

"What-" Josh called out meekly. CJ was now glaring at him across the room. Josh gulped and looked down at the table again.

"Josh," CJ began. Her voice was already at a dangerous tone. Josh didn't reply. CJ took off her jacket and tossed it over the arm of the sofa.

"You aren't even going to say hello to me?"

Josh turned to look at her, scowling.

"Can we just get this over with?" he asked, sounding tired. CJ sent Josh a smile that made his stomach turn.

"CJ-"

"Get what over with Josh?"

"If you're going to yell at me can you just do it?" Josh asked weakly. "Playing with your prey before you eat it is a cruel tactic to use."

"And for what reason would I have to yell at you Joshua?" CJ asked, feigning innocence.

"CJ-"

"Could I possibly feel angry when a senior White House staff member first, repeatedly ignored warnings from multiple co-workers." CJ was listing the reasons on her fingers as she went, her voice rising with every word. "And second, was so incredibly stupid when not listening to us, he managed to knock up his assistant."

"It's not-" Josh began. CJ immediately cut across him.

"You are her superior, Josh. Do you have ANY idea how bad this is going to look?"

"Yeah," Josh said in a small voice. He looked down again. CJ saw how terrified he looked and took a breath.

"Josh, what were you thinking?" CJ asked in a defeated voice. She collapsed into a chair beside him. Josh just shook his head.

"It wasn't what you think, CJ," he replied in the same small voice. CJ wasn't sure she'd ever seen him look so lost and vulnerable.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Josh said, starting to get a little more worked up. "It wasn't some meaningless one night stand."

CJ sighed. "I know." Josh looked surprised at this.

"You do?"

"Of course I do, Josh," CJ said, almost dismissively.

"What do we do?" Josh asked her, trying not to sound desperate. CJ's demeanor softened. She knew Josh understood the gravity of this situation. There was no more use yelling.

"Well, I think before we take any further steps we need to discuss what you and Donna are going to do. How are you going to handle this situation Josh?"

At Josh's questioning glance, CJ continued. "I mean, are you going to be there for the baby?"

Josh looked offended. "Of course I am!"

"You're going to go to the doctor appointments and the Lamaze class and buy a crib and learn how to change a diaper?" CJ asked. She watched as Josh's face registered just how many things she had listed that he hasn't thought of yet.

"Jesus," Josh muttered to himself. He let his face fall into his hands.

"You're going to be there when Donna needs you?"

"Yes, but CJ-"

"What do you want to do Josh? With your relationship with Donna. Do you want to be with her?"

CJ watched as Josh turned his gaze away from her with a short laugh. He wiped a hand across his face.

"Josh?"

"CJ, I've wanted to be with her for two years now." Josh had a faraway look in his eyes. "But I don't want to hurt the President. So I'll step aside if I have to."

"That's up to Leo, not me," CJ said with a sad smile. She watched as a fresh wave of terror washed over Josh's face. The thought of putting Leo in such a position was tough to swallow.

"You think it's for the best that he fires me?"

"I think," CJ stared. "It'll be a bad look for this administration to fire a man who just took a bullet for the President."

Josh looked uncomfortable at that.

"But if we could spin this as you two actually being a couple, we might be able to get away with it." Josh looked up at her with hope in his eyes.

"She wouldn't be allowed to work for you anymore." CJ saw Josh's eyes fall at this. "Josh, you know she can't." Josh nodded somberly. The idea of not seeing her at work every day was almost too much to bear.

"Maybe we can put her in Communications," CJ said thoughtfully.

"That's not far," Josh said, a little happier. CJ smiled at that.

"No, it's not."

"If Leo doesn't banish me from the building," Josh said grimly returning to reality. CJ gave a small, sympathetic smile at that.

"You're not going to yell at me more?"

"I yell at you when I need to get a point across," CJ said primly. "You seem to understand the severity of this one."

"Yeah." Josh was staring into space again.

"How ya feeling?" Josh's eyes snapped to her again and he started shaking his head.

"I donno."

"Did Donna show you the sonogram?" At this, Josh's eyes seemed to sparkle.

"Yeah," he whispered, a small smiling coming to his face.

"That's something, huh."

"Yeah," Josh agreed. "Something."


	9. Chapter 9

Ten minutes later, Donna returned to the kitchen and sat down. Josh had a hand propping up his head.

"Josh is still in tact, that's good," she commented lightly. Josh gave a tired smirk but said nothing.

"Listen," CJ started seriously. Donna had her eyes fixed on Josh, whose eyelids were drooping dangerously. Donna was amazed he was still awake. He would have been asleep an hour or two ago on a normal day, let alone on a day where his whole life had changed this dramatically.

CJ snapped in front of his eyes a few times.

"Hey," she snapped again. "Eyes on me, this is important!"

Donna had to resist the urge to pull her hands away. Josh blinked a few times before settling his gaze on CJ, still not looking entirely in the moment.

"Josh, Donna. I don't know what the two of you want to do, but we need to get ahead of this story, so you need to decide soon."

"Wha-"

"If you want to be together or not," CJ said impatiently, gesticulating as she did. Josh and Donna glanced at each other both gulped. With a small sigh, CJ stood.

"I'll come back tomorrow and you can give me your answer," CJ said, quietly.

"A day?" Josh asked. If he'd had more energy, there would have been a sharp edge to his voice.

"Yes!" CJ said, challenging him. "We need to get out in front of this! If the press finds out on their own we are doomed. We're running out of time." She glanced apologetically at Donna.

"Donna's getting bigger every day, we need to decide on a game plan before someone..." CJ paused awkwardly and crossed her arms. "Guesses." Donna blushed and looked down.

"God, CJ," Josh muttered.

"It's true," CJ continued quietly. "One wrong picture, one false rumor," CJ trailed off.

Josh and Donna shared a glance before they nodded.

"Okay," CJ said. She began to make her way to the door and paused once her hand reached the doorknob.

"Oh and Josh?" Josh turned to look at her.

"Congratulations." Donna felt a small spark of happiness when she saw him smile.

"Thanks."

Once CJ was gone, an awkward silence descended over the apartment. Donna saw Josh fighting with all his strength to stay awake, but he was fading fast.

"Josh," Donna started. "You should go to sleep."

Josh shook his head, trying to keep his head from drooping.

"We need to talk," he slurred slightly. Donna nodded.

"Tomorrow."

Josh looked at Donna's attire and smiled lightly.

"You should stay here tonight," he ventured bravely. Donna was hardly opposed to the idea. She too felt completely exhausted both emotionally and physically. After everything they'd been through in the past 24 hours, she didn't even bother to argue.

"Okay."

"You take the bed." Donna gave a small laugh, this she would argue.

"Josh, I can't take the bed. You NEED that bed."

"You're pregnant!" Josh exclaimed. "You can't sleep on the sofa."

"Josh, you'll be in agony tomorrow if you sleep on the couch."

"I'll be in agony anyways," he said without missing a beat. Donna's frown did not look amused.

Josh rolled his eyes and yawned widely before a serious look took over his face.

"What if we um," he started slowly. He looked up at Donna. "Y'know. We could share the bed. There's room."

"Are you sure?"

Josh gave a short laugh.

"I mean, you're already pregnant. What's the worst that could happen," he muttered darkly. Donna pulled a face, trying to hide her smile and kicked at Josh's chair.

Twenty minutes later, Donna was lying flat on her back, eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling. A faint stream of light from the street outside the window was resting over her and Josh in the bed. They weren't really left time for things to become awkward because Josh had fallen asleep almost immediately.

She felt him rustling the covers next to her and popped up an elbow to balance her head on her hand and stare down at him. His face slowly started to twist and become more and more distressed with each passing second. Donna sat up a little straighter and frowned as she watched him become more animated. Nightmares weren't an uncommon occurrence. Ever since Josh had been taken off the heaviest dosage of painkillers, he would have them sporadically.

Beads of sweat began to build on Josh's forehead and Donna reached out an arm to wake him. Her hand paused as Josh started muttering her name. It was coming out in painful whispers. After a few more moments Donna shook her head and put her hand on Josh's shoulder.

"Josh?" There was no response, but Donna noticed the fidgeting stopped.

"Josh, wake up. You're having a nightmare." She gently put her hand on his shoulder.

"Josh," she said again. More firmly this time. She shook harder and this time she got a response. With a gasp, Josh awoke from his nightmare and shot into a sitting position, causing him to cry out in pain.

"Fuck," he muttered. He was out of breath, his chest rising and falling heavily as he struggled to regain it.

"You're okay," Donna said calmly. His nightmares were always visceral and always took him a while to come out of. She rubbed a hand across the shoulder blades of Josh's t-shirt. At her words, Josh turned to her quickly.

"Hey," he whispered, startled.

"Hey," Donna said back, giving him a smile.

"You're okay," Josh said aloud, more to himself than Donna.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" Donna asked him, but Josh wasn't listening. His gaze was staring straight ahead at the wall, a lost look in his eyes.

They both started speaking at the same time.

"What-'s"

"Donna-"

"You go," Donna said with a small smile.

"I wanna do this Donna," Josh said bluntly. His voice was still a little wheezy from the nightmare, but his tone was sincere.

"Do what?" Donna asked, wanting full clarification before getting her hopes up.

"This," Josh stated, moving his hands around to gesture between the two of them. "All of this. I wanna do it together." In the faint light, Donna caught his eyes glance down at her belly.

"I mean," Josh stuttered. "If you want to, too."

Donna stared at him for a moment. Josh being so upfront about his feelings like this was shocking.

"I-"

"I don't want to go to sleep and not have you be there," Josh continued quietly. "I hate when you leave. I always hate when you leave, even before all this happened. If there's one good thing about this shitty recovery it's that I get to see you every day."

"Josh-"

"And I know I'm not of much use lately, but I'll get better and I'll make it worth your time. I promise. I'm trying my best to get better as soon as possible so I can be there for you." He gulped. "For both of you."

"Josh-"

"There is only one in there right?" he asked suddenly, he was narrowing his eyes in a suspicious way and glancing at Donna's belly. Donna laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Only one," Donna told him, rubbing a hand over her bump. She paused to see if he'd continue talking and when he didn't she gave him a warm smile.

"I want to do this together too," she said easily and relief properly washed over her body. Finally. It was like dumping cold water over a scalding fire.

"Yeah?" Josh asked quickly. Donna nodded firmly. Josh broke out into a large smile and quickly gathered Donna's face in between his hands before kissing her gently. Donna kissed him back eagerly. The kiss lasted longer than both of them anticipated, neither wanting to break it off. It was only a sharp gasp from Josh that broke them apart. Donna glanced down guiltily at the hand that had strayed to his chest and pulled it away quickly. Josh shook his head with a couch.

"Sorry, I'm so useless right now," he said glumly.

"It's nice to see you finally sit still to be honest," Donna said lightly, trying to make him smile. It worked.

"Whatever happens when we see," Josh's eyes darted away from her for a second. "When we see Leo. I'm there." Seeing Donna's visible relief at his words, he felt guilty.

"I'm sorry you've been going through this alone, Donna."

Donna looked at him thoughtfully for a while, her mind racing.

"Josh?"

"Yeah?" she noticed he was still trying to catch his breath.

"What was the dream about?" Josh just shook his head.

"Josh," Donna said again, grabbing his hand. Josh turned away. "Tell me."

"Donna-"

"Please?"

"I," Josh took a deep breath.

"You got shot instead of me," he said shortly. Donna blinked and ran her thumb over the back of Josh's hand.

"I'm right here."

"We're going to do this," Josh said to CJ the next morning. He was still dressed in just a t-shirt and boxers. Donna was dressed to go into the office, complete with a baggy sweater.

"Yeah?" CJ said, a smile on her lips.

"Yeah," Josh nodded, wrapping his hands around a mug of tea.

"Good," CJ said quietly, looking down for a moment. When Josh and Donna looked at her she continued. "I mean. It'll be easier to swing if you guys are actually together."

Josh gave a sheepish smile and took a sip of his tea, glancing over the rim at Donna.

"When do I get coffee?" he asked with a grimace. Donna rolled her eyes.

"Never."

"Donna!"

"Tea is good for you!" Donna insisted.

"I miss coffee," Josh said glumly. Donna patted his shoulder consolingly, though her face was mocking.

"Doctor's orders."

"Yeah, yeah," Josh muttered. He shook her hand off his shoulder.

"We're going to have to tell Leo now," CJ said after a moment, a hint of apology in her voice at breaking up the moment. Josh's gaze dropped to the mug.

"Yeah."

"Soon."

"Yeah."

"Tomorrow?"

"I'll come up to the office to see everyone and swing by," Josh said, his mouth flattening into a thin line as he leaned forward on his elbows. CJ didn't miss the small wince the change in posture caused him.

"Josh," she started slowly. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

"Josh, you won't be able to make it up to the office," Donna admonished, walking closer to the table.

"I can't expect Leo to come all the way down here," Josh muttered. He was feeling guilty for all the extra work he was dropping on Leo's plate by being stuck in his apartment.

"Josh," Donna said, her voice softening. "Nobody blames you for not being at work. I keep telling you."

Josh just shook his head.

"It'll be fine. I'll go in at lunch time with Donna," Josh said, trying to sound nonchalant. CJ looked to Donna, who still looked worried.

"Josh..."

"Come on, I haven't been able to leave this apartment in what seems like forever. I haven't even seen my office since," he broke off. "You know."

The two women exchanged glances.

"Please?"

"If you get tired, you HAVE to tell me, Josh," Donna said severely. "This isn't a joke, you could get hurt if you overdo it."

"It'll be fine," Josh said with a dismissive hand. "Leo doesn't have the time to come down here anyways."

"Do you need any help on how to tell-"

"I got this, CJ."

"Doubtful," CJ said playfully, a small smile on her lips. "I'll see you later."

After CJ took her leave, Donna and Josh stood watching each other awkwardly for a moment.

"Well, I guess I better go too. I'll see you later."

"Kay," Josh said simply. Donna took a few steps towards him at the table and swooped down to place a quick peck on Josh's lips.

"See ya," she said again as she moved to leave. Josh sat stunned in his seat, surprised but pleased at her goodbye.

"Bye!"

The next day, Josh was moving down the West Wing hallways at a pace he did not feel overly comfortable with. He felt like he was clogging the halls and slowing everybody down. All of his focus was going towards just placing one foot in front of the other and trying not to look too pathetic. There was sheen of sweat on his forehead and he tried not to make it too obvious how much he was leaning on Donna to keep going.

He was fine until he passed by Toby's office. Toby immediately jumped up upon seeing him.

"Josh!" Josh paused and turned to look. He gave Toby a friendly smile, which was not returned. "CJ told me you were coming."

Josh tried not to grimace, wondering what else CJ told him.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" Josh repressed a groan.

"I guess." Him and Donna both moved towards the office door but Toby held out a hand.

"Just Josh?" he asked quietly. "Please?"

"Donna-"

"Sure," Donna said back. She let go of Josh's arm and started to walk away.

"Call me when he's ready." Josh tried to convey a sense of betrayal in his eyes, but Donna didn't catch it. Josh could tell that Toby knew and Donna didn't know Toby knew.

Once Donna was out of sight, Toby pulled Josh into the office and let the door close with a solid smack. Josh quickly crashed down onto the sofa and tried to prepare himself for what was coming.

Toby started pacing, one hand rubbing his chin as he looked lost in thought. Josh busied himself by trying to subtly catch his breath. The journey to the White House had already sapped most of his energy. He hated to admit already that Donna and CJ were right.

Finally Toby stopped. He leaned against his desk with his arms crossed, both hands cupping his elbows.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Toby asked quietly, one hand flicking up. Josh sighed.

"Toby-"

"Do you know how much damage your little night of what, of passion? Is going to cause this administration?" Toby's voice was growing louder and louder. "Why the hell didn't you listen to any of us when we constantly told you to be careful around Donna?!"

Josh kept his head down, a scowl on his face. He was trying to muster up the energy to fight back.

"Did you miss sex-ed in high school? How could you have been this stupid?" Toby was half laughing now. "You're a grown man, Josh. Anyone with half a brain cell could have avoided this situation."

Still scowling, Josh looked up at him.

"You done yet?"

"I'm sorry, am I boring you? The fact that you've exposed this administration to a scandal so large we might not be able to fully recover?"

"Toby, come on!" Josh snapped back angrily. His chest was heaving and he placed a hand there to try and quell the pain slightly.

"What!? You think I'm wrong? You think Bartlet's most senior political advisor, the White House Deputy Chief of Staff, knocking up his young, unwed, beautiful secretary isn't going to cause a stir? Isn't going to turn a few heads? Isn't going to send Mary Marsh screaming up the front gates?"

Josh looked down again and shook his head. He knew Toby was right.

"CJ doesn't think it'll be that bad if we swing it right."

"I think CJ's wrong," Toby said simply. The lack of empathy on Toby's face stung. Josh winced and pressed on.

"You could be a little supportive you know," Josh muttered. Toby laughed.

"You want me to hold your hand and be your buddy?" Toby practically sneered. At Josh's pained silence, Toby continued. "I'm the one who has to clean this up, Josh. While you're off in the safety of your apartment. I'm the one who has to clean this up."

Josh felt a rush of emotion flow through him as he caught the meaning behind Toby's words. While I'm at work and you sit at home doing nothing while I cover for you. Guilt, anger, pain. Without another word he stood up, but in his haste, he forgot to account for the loss of mobility he had suffered across his body. He immediately wavered where he stood and had to take a few moments to steady himself against the arm of the sofa.

Toby's gaze grew concerned as he watched Josh struggle. Toby hadn't seen Josh since the hospital. He didn't trust himself not to explode at him like he just did so he had been avoiding Josh's apartment. When Josh was out of sight, it was easy for Toby to forget just how extensive Josh's injury was.

Josh took a deep breath and made to walk forward again, but this time his foot caught the side of the sofa and he came tumbling to the ground with a loud thud. A sharp gasp of pain emitted from him and Toby immediately rushed over.

"Josh-" he gasped out before crashing besides the younger man. Josh was sitting on his knees with his head buried between his arms. Toby could see his back rising and falling through every sharp breath. Heard the groans Josh would let out intermittently.

"Are you okay?" Toby asked tentatively after a minute passed. He put a hand on Josh's back.

"Get off," Josh immediately barked. He pulled his head from his arms and leaned against the sofa. He didn't turn to look at Toby.

"Josh, I'm-"

"I gotta go," Josh muttered angrily. He pulled himself up on the sofa and slowly, very slowly made his way out of the office. He made sure to slam the door on his way out.

Donna spotted him coming the second he appeared down the hallway. She easily met him halfway.

"Josh, what happened?" she asked, concern etched into her every feature. Josh was still breathing heavily, wincing with every step. Donna helped steady him and Josh gratefully let her help.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. He felt awful having to use Donna as a crutch. She brushed off his comment easily.

"What happened Josh?"

They were closing in on Josh's office now, drawing the eyes of everyone in the bullpen. Once they were safely behind the closed door Josh collapsed into his chair. After taking a few minutes to regain his composure and catch his breath, he looked around the office with fondness in his eyes.

Donna watched as a small smile came to his lips at the pile of presents on his desk.

"Were you going to keep these for yourself?" Donna rolled her eyes.

"You know it."

Josh smiled and started to open one of them.

"Josh," Donna said seriously. He looked up. "What happened?"

Josh sighed and coughed. "Toby knows."

"Oh," Donna said, sounding a little defeated. She fell into one of Josh's visitor chairs. "How angry was he?"

"Pretty angry," Josh said darkly. A knock came at the office door. They both jumped.

"It's Margaret," the source of the knocking called out.

"Oh, I called her to let us know when you could get in to see Leo," Donna said apologetically. "Should I tell her to cancel?"

Josh shook his head. "Might as well get this over with. I wanna know if I should start looking for a new job or not." He ended the sentence with a smile, but Donna and him shared a glance that was anything but humorous.

"Come in, Margaret," Josh called. Margaret let herself in and smiled upon seeing him. Taking in the state of him after a second, her smile waned slightly. Josh's hair was unruly, the shadows under his eyes were noticeable. The toll this day had already taken on him was clear to see.

"It's good to see you, Josh," Margaret said earnestly. "Really good."

Josh gave her a smile.

"You too, Margaret."

"We miss you around here," she said kindly.

"Sorry about all the extra work you're probably stuck with," Josh muttered, immediately apologetic. Margaret shook her head.

"That's not what I meant. We miss you."

Josh's face broke into a small smile.

"Yeah?"

"Yes." Josh was surprised at the happiness he felt at her words. To know he was genuinely missed from more than just a work perspective was nice.

"Thanks, Margaret." Margaret nodded and then got down to business.

"Leo will be ready to see you when he gets back from his next meeting in 20 minutes."

Donna nodded. "Thanks, Margaret. The sooner, the better I think."

"I'm fine-" Josh started. Donna cut him off.

"This was a bad idea, Josh." Josh rolled his eyes and just turned his chair away from the two of them.

"Thanks, Margaret," Donna said again. Margaret nodded and gave another smile before leaving the room.

"You ready?" she asked once Margaret was gone. Josh just nodded sadly and took one last look around the room.

It took them around 10 minutes to walk to Leo's office. Josh had all but collapsed on Leo's couch when they finally arrived. His entire body was aching and screaming in protest. He had far surpassed his limit.

"Do you want me to stay?" Donna asked, looking worried. Josh shook his head.

"I should do this alone."

Knowing the gravity this conversation would hold for Leo and Josh on more than just a professional level, Donna understood.

"Good luck," Donna told him. She glanced over her shoulder to check that the coast was clear before placing a kiss on Josh's cheek that caused him to smile. He noticed her hand stray to her belly as she left Leo's office and found that made him smile too.

Ten minutes later, Leo came bustling into the office, briefcase in hand. It wasn't until he sat down at his desk that he even noticed Josh was there. He jumped.

"Jesus, Josh! Have you been sitting there the whole time?" Josh nodded, but his nerves meant he was unable to bring himself to smile.

"Did you know I was coming?" Leo was staring at him intently. Taking in Josh's haggard appearance, the exhaustion seeping out of him.

"Leo?"

"Hm?"

"Did you know I was coming?" Josh asked him again. Leo also noticed the slight breathlessness in Josh's words.

"Yeah, Margaret told me." He got up and started doing various tasks around the room.

"So what's up? You feeling all right? You look like hell."

Josh watched nervously as Leo busied himself about the office as though this was a normal day. As though the news he was about to tell Leo wasn't about to ruin his day entirely.

"Leo-" Leo didn't look up as he searched through a row of books with a finger glancing over the spines. "I gotta tell you something."

"Shoot," Leo said seamlessly, his concentration still on the books.

Josh gulped before pushing on, choosing to rip of the bandaid.

"Donna's pregnant." Leo found the book he was looking for and pulled it down from its shelf.

"You're kidding," Leo said in a calm voice. "Good for her, I didn't realize she had a boyfriend." Josh felt his stomach sink even further.

"Leo-"

"Has she talked to you about maternity leave yet?" Leo asked, sitting down at his desk now.

"Leo," Josh sighed, a hand wiping across his face. "I'm the father." He let his head fall down to his chest. He couldn't bear to look at Leo's face, all he could feel was shame. It was silent for a long time.

"What did you just say?"

Josh flushed and still couldn't bring himself to look Leo in the eye.

"Donna's pregnant and it's my kid."

"Is this some kind of joke?"

"No, Leo." Josh felt about two feet tall.

Leo slowly removed his glasses and set them on the desk.

"Can you deny it?" Josh was taken aback.

"What?"

"Can you deny that it's yours?"

"What? Leo-" Josh stuttered. He took a moment to compose himself. "I don't want to deny it."

Leo let out a long sigh, looking like he was trying with all he had to remain calm.

"You should leave," Leo growled out after a moment. Josh finally looked up.

"What?"

"Get out of my office, Josh."

"What do you mean?" Josh asked quickly, worry flooding over him in waves.

"I mean I can't look at you right now," Leo said, struggling to keep his voice level. "Get out."

Josh began to rise to his feet and took a few deep breaths.

"Does that mean I'm fired?" Josh asked in a small voice.

"I donno," Leo said sharply. He began focusing on the work on his desk his glasses slipping down his nose slightly.

"Leo-"

"JOSH," Leo piled in so much emotion into one single word that Josh was left with no choice but to miserably see himself out. He could feel the disappointment, the rage in Leo's voice.

Before closing the door, Josh looked up one more time, but Leo still didn't budge. With a sigh he closed the door behind him and then fell backwards against it with his eyes closed.

Instead of going back to his own office, Josh slowly made his way to Sam's office. He hadn't seen his friend in a few days and right now, he craved a familiar face that wasn't mad at him in any way. The office was empty when Josh got there so Josh made himself comfortable in one of the chairs. Within minutes he was fast asleep.

He awoke to the sound of a door creaking open and a sigh of relief.

"Josh!"

Josh opened his eyes blearily and tried to remember where he was. His whole body was screaming at him for the awkward position he'd fallen asleep in and for the trauma of the day. With a groan, he tried to sit up, a hand to his chest. When he looked up Sam was gone, but he could hear him.

"Tell Donna I've got him in my office?" Sam was telling somebody.

"Sam?"

"Josh, nobody knew where you were, everyone was worried sick," Sam admonished as he walked back in and dropped his things on his desk. Josh winced as he shifted positions again.

"How long was I out?"

"Close to an hour," Sam muttered, taking off his jacket now. "Or at least that's what I've been told."

"Sorry," Josh said quietly. Sam took the time to actually look at his friend now and paused.

"Josh, are you alright?" Josh didn't even bother to hide his pain this time. He shook his head and looked up at Sam with wide eyes. Sam hurried to take the seat next to his friend.

"What's going on, buddy?"

Josh shook his head with a laugh and looked away.

"Josh, come on. Tell me."

"You mean besides the fact I can't walk across the office without feeling like I just ran the Boston marathon?"

"Yes," Sam answered immediately, knowing Josh's tricks of distraction. Josh sighed and looked away bitterly. When he glanced back at Sam, he noticed the concern in Sam's eyes.

"Donna's pregnant Sam. With my kid."

Josh watched as Sam's face went through the motions processing the news.

"I just told Leo today."

"Wow." Josh was shocked to see a small smile appear on Sam's face.

"Sam?"

"Congrats, buddy," Sam said genuinely. Josh sat up straighter and shook Sam a baffled look.

"What? Sam-"

"Does this mean you're going to get together with Donna?" Sam continued.

A small smile came to Josh's face. "I think so."

Sam smiled again. "Good."

"Sam, why aren't you upset?" Josh asked, bewildered.

"Judging by the looks of you, you've had your fill of people being upset," Sam said bluntly. "And besides. This is Donna. This isn't some random one-night stand right? I mean it's you two."

Josh felt a rush of affection bloom within his chest for his best friend.

"Sam, I-"

"I know," Sam said quickly. He put his hand on Josh's knee. "We'll get through this, don't worry." Josh nodded solemnly.

"You scared?" Sam asked after a moment.

"Oh yeah," Josh said with a sightless stare. He blinked and looked up at Sam.

"You glad somebody finally fucked up worse than you did with the hooker?"

Sam laughed and crossed his arms. "Oh yeah."

The two chuckled for a moment before Sam reached out a hand to Josh's shoulder and leaned in.

"It's going to be okay," Josh."

Notes: My thinking with Leo asking Josh if he could deny it... remember when they found out Hoynes was cheating on his wife and had to resign? Leo asked him the same thing and that always struck me as notable. Like the best thing for the administration would be if it wasn't Josh's kid so that's what Leo's going to grasp for in those first moments of shock. 


	10. Chapter 10

Josh was close to drifting off again in Sam's office with his head leaned back against the chair when the phone started to ring, shattering the comfortable silence between them.

"Yeah?" Sam answered quickly. His eyes flicked to Josh before he nodded slowly with a grimace.

"Yeah, okay." He hung up the phone and Josh looked at him expectantly.

"I've been called into Leo's office," Sam said with an apologetic smile. Josh nodded and looked down.

"I'll-"

"Go home, Josh," Sam said, cutting him off. The door opened and Donna shuffled in looking frazzled.

"Josh, I've been looking for you for an hour!" she said, exasperated.

"Sorry," Josh said innocently. "I've been here the whole time! I uh, I fell asleep."

"Donna, I think it's time to take him home," Sam said quietly.

"I can hear you," Josh growled. "I'm not a four year old you know."

Sam gave Donna a significant look before gathering his stuff. "I think he's getting cranky."

Donna allowed a snort of laughter causing Josh to look mutinous. Sam smirked at him one last time.

"Go home, Josh." He turned and left the office, shutting the door behind him.

"Come on, Josh," Donna said, kinder now.

"They're having a meeting about me," Josh said, his shoulders drooping. Donna nodded.

"Yeah." She held her hand out to him. Josh grasped it after a moment's hesitation and Donna helped hoist him up off the sofa. The movement after having been stationary for so long caused immediate ripples of pain to shoot through him. He had to steady himself with his hands on his knees for a while.

"You need to go home," Donna muttered. "We never should have kept you out this long."

Josh made to move forward, but at the sharp pain radiating from his chest he was forced to sit down again.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself. He avoided Donna's gaze.

"Josh-"

"Let's just wait here, Donna," Josh said quickly, desperately. "At least til the meeting's over, that way we don't have to come back if we don't have to." Donna saw the anguish in his eyes and knew he was in too much pain right now for the return journey home.

"Okay," Donna replied after a moment. She understood Josh didn't want to admit he couldn't make it back to the apartment.

"Let's at least go to Toby's office," Donna said lightly.

"Why?"

"He has a sofa," Donna said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. She tugged on Josh's hand again and they slowly made their way to Toby's office next door.

"Much more comfortable." Josh sat down gratefully, but still looked a little perturbed.

"Toby's as pissed as Leo. I don't know if this is even safe."

"Do you want to walk all the way to CJ's office?" Josh scowled and said nothing.

"So now what?"

"I guess we wait." Donna sat down next to Josh on the sofa and Josh turned his head to her.

"How're you feeling?"

"I feel like I'd just like this day to be over." Josh nodded in agreement, stifling a yawn.

"Why aren't you tired?" Josh asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought pregnant women were tired a lot. Isn't growing a person tiring?"

Donna laughed and leaned her head back.

"I'm tired." From the corner of her eye she saw Josh reach a hand towards her before pulling it back sharply. She straightened up and locked eyes with him. Josh's eyebrows rose shyly in question and she nodded. His fingers gently traced their way across the expanse of her belly until it finally rested right in the middle, covering most of it.

"Can you feel it yet? Moving and stuff?"

"Not yet."

A corner of Josh's mouth was quirked upwards as his eyes stayed on Donna's belly. He yawned again.

"Why don't you take a nap, Josh?" Josh scowled again at being coerced into doing anything. He pulled his hand back.

"Don't be a baby," Donna said after seeing that familiar look on his face. "Just do it. That way you'll have more energy after... you know."

Josh had to admit he felt exhausted. Exhausted to the point where he wasn't sure a nap would even make a difference. Seeing the pleading look in Donna's eye though, he relented.

"Fine."

"Good."

"You'll wake me up if something happens?"

"Sure."

"Donna."

"Yes." Josh nodded before slouching a little in his seat, letting his head rest against the cushions. He crossed his arms and within minutes he was fast asleep.

"We can't fire a guy who just took a bullet for the President," CJ was telling the room at large, her arms outstretched to emphasize her point.

"CJ, this is going to look-"

"We change how it looks!" CJ said quickly cutting off Toby. Everyone focused on her.

"We can control the story. We quietly move Donna to communications, then when someone finds out about them, we say we don't comment on the private lives of the staff, but we can give them the information that they aren't doing anything wrong since Donna has moved departments."

Nobody had a rebuttal for this.

"Josh isn't going to like losing Donna as his assistant," Sam said after a while.

"Well that's just tough," CJ said, shrugging. She turned to Leo.

"So Josh knocks up his assistant and he just gets away with that?" Toby asked grumpily from the sofa. CJ gave him a strange look.

"He already got shot, what else do you want?"

Toby scowled.

"What do you think Leo?" Leo had been largely silent the whole meeting. The news had thrown him completely off kilter.

On the one hand he was absolutely furious at Josh, as angry as he'd ever felt with him. He couldn't believe Josh had been so stupid, so careless. He was upset Josh would throw the administration into such a volatile situation that could backfire so easily. On the other hand though, this was the Josh Lyman that Leo has known since before Josh could walk. And Leo wasn't blind. He saw the almost telepathic connection Josh had with Donna. It had been like that since day one. He saw how happy being around her made him, even if he'd never admit it. Leo understood this situation wasn't one born from anything other than a place of genuine affection. He took solace in that.

He was thinking of Noah. Wondering how his old friend would be feeling right now. Elated, surely. The way Josh had thrown himself headlong into politics from such a young age had always worried Noah and Rachel that Josh would never get round to giving them grandchildren.

Before Noah had died, he'd asked Leo to try and look out for Josh when he could and Leo had promised to do his best. Right now he felt like he was failing his old friend. In that hospital waiting room that sticky night in August, all Leo could think of was how he let his friend down. And now, after they'd all made it out of Rosslyn alive, how could he even think of throwing Josh out in the cold when he needed Leo's support the most?

Yet his responsibilities to the President and to this administration as the Chief of Staff kept reminding him how bad this would look, how much damage it could cause the President. There was nothing he took more seriously than his position in this White House and he had a responsibility to look at this situation from the eyes of someone who hadn't watched Josh Lyman grow up.

"I think," Leo began slowly. "It's a gamble to assume everything will go off without a hitch in that plan."

"Leo, we can't fire him," CJ stated again. "I'm not saying this trying to defend Josh, I'm saying this from a PR standpoint. Josh has been all over the news for weeks. He's been in magazines, all over the news, people know his face. He's become America's Sweetheart. If we fire him, people are going to be outraged and think we're heartless."

Leo looked up at her.

"And maybe we would be," CJ finished.

"Is he still here?"

"Josh?" Sam asked. Leo rolled his eyes.

"No, Queen Elizabeth, Sam! Of course, Josh." Sam reddened.

"I told him to go home. He was looking pretty tired."

"Will someone check if he's still here or not?"

"Yeah."

"I'll come," CJ said, following Sam out of the room.

It didn't take them long to locate Josh and Donna in Toby's office. They found them curled up on the couch together. Donna was resting her head against the arm of the sofa, her hands cushioning her head while Josh had his head resting against her shoulder. His hand was dangling close to Donna's stomach.

CJ rolled her eyes.

"They're adorable. It's disgusting."

Sam smiled and shook his head.

"It's only going to get worse from here."

"Yeah," CJ said sobering. "I hope so." She and Sam exchanged meaningful looks before turning back to the pair.

"Donna?" CJ knelt down and shook her shoulder lightly. Donna's eyes immediately fluttered opened. She looked surprised to see Josh sleeping on top of her. Rubbing her eyes, she pushed herself into a sitting position with a quiet groan, moving Josh with her as she went. She steadied him against the back cushions and looked at CJ.

"Leo wants to see Josh."

Donna nodded. Josh hadn't stirred at being moved.

"How long have you been asleep?"

"A while." Donna shook Josh's shoulder. "Josh?"

There was no response. CJ moved to rest on Toby's desk.

"Josh, wake up. Leo wants to see you." Still nothing. She glanced at Sam and CJ worriedly; who exchanged looks with each other.

"Josh!" she shook harder this time. He was still out cold. "Josh!"

"I'm calling Leo," Sam said, worry creeping into his voice. He grabbed the phone behind Toby's desk, watching as Donna continued trying to wake Josh.

"Leo? Something's not right with Josh." CJ got on the floor next to Donna and placed a hand on her shoulder. "It's going to be fine, Donna."

"Leo's sending Mrs. Bartlet," Sam announced.

"What?" CJ turned to him in surprise.

"Leo was in the Oval with her and the President."

Mrs. Bartlet was walking into the office a minute later and immediately made a beeline for Josh.

"We keep trying to wake him up, but nothing works," Donna said, her voice quivering with fear. Mrs. Bartlet put one hand on Josh's forehead and the other on the side of his neck, feeling for his pulse. She closed her eyes for a moment to focus and then nodded.

"Help me get him on his back," she instructed to Donna. The pair moved quickly and situated him. Mrs. Bartlet then moved to lift Josh's feet so they were raised up on the arm of the sofa. Donna didn't miss the brief moment in which Mrs. Bartlet's yes flickered over her belly.

Josh's eyes fluttered open briefly for a few seconds before closing again.

"Josh?" Mrs. Bartlet asked calmly. His eyes didn't reopen again.

"How long has he been here?" Mrs. Bartlet asked, turning to the group.

"A while," Sam answered regretfully. "We tried to send him home but-"

"Has he had anything to each or drink while he's been here?"

Everyone looked at each other, silently wondering if anyone took the initiative to ensure Josh was eating. They all shook their heads, guilt piling on their shoulders. Mrs. Bartlet sighed.

"Mrs. Bartlet?" Donna asked, her voice still not all together shaky.

"He's probably dehydrated," Mrs. Bartlet explained. "His body must be exhausted. Why on Earth was he here for so long?"

Donna glanced at Sam and CJ who shook their heads as subtly as possible.

"You'll be finding out soon enough I'd imagine, ma'am," CJ explained. Mrs. Bartlet hit her with a withering stare, but didn't press CJ for more details.

"We need to get him to the hospital and get him properly checked out, get him the fluids he needs."

Seeing the horror on Donna's face, Mrs. Bartlet grabbed her hand.

"It'll be fine, Donna."

Donna didn't look convinced.


	11. Chapter 11

Josh blinked a few times, his eyelids feeling like lead. It took a while for the room to come into focus, but when it did, he groaned. The familiarity of the white walled room immediately put him on edge. He raised his right arm and let his forearm fall across his face, obscuring the bright lights invading his eyes.

"Josh?"

Recognizing Donna's voice, Josh removed his arm to look at her clearly.

"Donna. Why am I back here?" Donna immediately felt relief flood through her at the familiar whine in Josh's tone. He looked miserable and sounded awful, but at least the childish petulance let Donna know he was still Josh.

"You overdid it," she said simply and grabbed his hand. Josh's head fell to the side as he looked at her.

"What?"

"You passed out because of dehydration and exhaustion," Donna said simply. Josh didn't look moved.

"You brought me to the hospital for that?"

"We took you to the hospital when you we couldn't get you to open your eyes? Yes."

"Whatever."

"Josh!"

"Donna!"

"Mrs. Bartlet even looked worried about you." Josh's eyes went wide.

"She saw?"

"She called the ambulance."

"There was an ambulance!?" Josh looked mortified. "Donna..."

"What did you expect us to do? Leave you unconscious and go home?"

Josh scowled but said nothing. He started fiddling with a loose thread on his blanket.

"You had us all scared half to death," Donna muttered.

"The meeting," Josh said, his head lifting suddenly, anxiety trickling through with his words.

"I didn't get a chance to hear what happened."

"Donna-"

He was cut off by the sound of the door opening. CJ and Sam walked in, smiles on their faces as they saw Josh sitting up and talking.

"You're awake!"

"I'm fine," Josh told them as he turned to look, preemptively defensively.

"It's good to see you too, mi amour," CJ said cheerily, ignoring Josh's grumpy tone.

"When can I go home?" Josh asked Donna, ignoring Sam and CJ for the moment.

"Soon," Donna said elusively.

"Are you going to tell me about the meeting?" Josh said turning back to CJ and Sam. His voice was rough.

"Josh-"

"I just want to know."

CJ and Sam exchanged looks before CJ took a seat besides the bed.

"Leo wants to talk to you still."

"Is he here?"

"No."

At Josh's expression, which was painfully close to a pout, CJ sighed

"I don't think you're going to be fired. Either of you." Josh and Donna both visibly melted with relief. "But there are going to be some changes."

"What kind of changes?"

"I think Leo should be the one to-"

"CJ, come on, Leo's not here!" Josh coughed a few times after raising his voice too much.

CJ looked over her shoulder, as if hoping Leo would walk in at any moment.

"Well." She took a deep breath. "Donna will have to move departments."

Josh knew this was coming. He understood fully why it had to happen. And yet, the panic that gripped his chest at those words upset him nonetheless. He looked down at his knuckles and began playing with the string again.

"Kay," he muttered, his voice hardly above a whisper. He couldn't bear to look at Donna.

"Josh, it'll be-" Donna reached over a hand.

"I know," Josh answered gruffly.

"It's better than-"

"I know!" Josh snapped. Donna, looking taken aback, sat back in her chair with her arms crossed.

"In all honestly, Josh, you should feel pretty grateful Donna doesn't have to leave the building entirely," CJ said sharply, her patience with him was fading fast. Josh glared at her, but nodded.

"What else?"

"We don't comment until we're asked and if we're asked we can say we don't comment on the personal lives of our staffers and when that doesn't work we can honestly Donna no longer works for Josh and their relationship isn't breaking any rules."

"They won't like that either."

"That's the best we got."

Josh nodded and rubbed his hands across his face, letting out a long sigh.

"You're not going to pass out on us again, are ya?" CJ asked him, a small grin returning to her face.

"Dunno. I'm spontaneous."

A knock from the door made everyone jump as Leo let himself into the room.

Upon seeing Josh awake, he smiled involuntarily.

"Hey, kid," Leo called gently across the room as he shuffled over. Josh sat up a little straighter, but didn't smile back. For the first time since he was a child, he felt intimidated by Leo, anxious at his presence.

"Hi."

"How're you feeling?"

"I'm okay," Josh answered quietly.

Reading the tension in the room, CJ gave quick glances to Donna and Sam before jerking her head towards the door. The other two nodded.

"We'll give you two some space," CJ announced, as she and the others made their way to the door. Josh watched them go, just for something to do that didn't involve looking at Leo.

"Really, how are you feeling?"

"I'm alright, Leo," Josh answered, no emotion or inflection of any kind in his voice.

"Damn it, Josh, you're sitting in a hospital bed," Leo snapped, his patience thin. "You're not fine."

Josh winced at the tone and Leo took a deep breath.

"You scared us pretty bad there."

On another day, in another situation, Josh might have made a joke. Today though, the stakes were too high.

"I'm sorry."

Considering him for a moment, Leo took his time before replying.

"I'm uh. I'm sorry about how I reacted before," Leo said in a strangely defiant voice. Josh shrugged.

"I understood."

"It's a hell of a situation you've put us in."

"Yeah," Josh agreed. The severity of his relationship with Donna looked like it was newly placed on his shoulders as he visibly deflated back into his pillows.

"You gonna fire me, Leo?"

Leo stared at him for a long moment before taking a deep breath.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not."

"Leo-"

"Josh, we only just got you back. We're hardly about to send you away again after coming so close to losing you."

Josh blinked. The frankness of Leo's words was surprising. A small smirk started to show itself.

"Guess I'm pretty lucky I got shot, huh."

Leo let out a small laugh at that.

"Don't mess this up, kid."

Josh nodded, all traces of a smile gone.

"It's not some," Josh paused and rubbed a hand through his hair. "I donno what I'm saying. It means something."

"I know."

"You do?"

"Course I do, Josh," Leo said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "The two of you can hardly hide whatever the hell kind of feelings you have for each other in the first place."

"I'm not gonna mess it up."

"Good. You're gonna be there for her and for your kid."

Hearing the words "your kid" still sent a flurry of butterflies through Josh's stomach. The phrase being directed at him was still so new, so strange. It was honestly a phrase he wasn't sure he would ever hear directed at him.

Noticing Leo's expectant look, Josh nodded.

"I will be."

Leo nodded. "CJ has a whole plan on how to deal with this. We're following her lead, but Donna can't work for you anymore." Josh's shoulders sagged at Leo's words. Being reminded of that detail was agonizing.

"Josh," Leo began warningly.

"I know," Josh answered quickly. Leo eyed him up for a few more moments before standing up.

"I'll let you get some rest. We'll meet with you on this in a few days when you're feeling up to it." Josh wanted to argue that he was feeling up to it today, but Leo didn't seem interested. The man was already halfway to the door.

"Josh?" Leo asked, one hand on the doorknob.

Josh turned to look at him, eyebrows raised.

"Congratulations."

Josh tried to hide the wide smile overtaking his lips and mostly failed.

"Thanks, Leo."


	12. Chapter 12

"Josh?" Donna walked into the apartment; take out in hand as she juggled her keys between her fingers. The apartment was silent except for the low mutterings of a television. It was dark outside and the apartment was shrouded in blackness aside from the streetlights streaming in through the windows. Donna flicked on every light switch on her way to the kitchen. After she deposited the food on the table, she caught sight of Josh on the couch, bundled up into a tiny ball underneath multiple large blankets. A small smile came to Donna's lips and she moved to the cabinet to bring down a few plates for the table.

With the table was set, food containers precisely laid out, she paused. After another moment's hesitation she picked up her own plate and started piling noodles on top. She grabbed a fork and then she walked slowly to the living room, plate in hand. Josh wouldn't care if she started without him.

Josh's face was mostly obscured by pillows and blankets. He tended to burrow his way deeper and deeper the longer he was asleep so right now all Donna could really see was a tuft of hair and his nose. Donna would never admit it to him, but she enjoyed watching Josh sleep. In the early days of the shooting, Josh being asleep gave her a never ending knot of anxiety that he might never wake up, but now, Josh was far enough into his recovery that Donna could take pleasure in the little things.

Naps were still a frequent part of Josh's day while he recovered and Donna had indulged quite a few times in watching him sleep. There was something about it that brought her peace, that lightened the load of the day's stresses. She loved the way Josh's cheek would often twitch when he was dreaming. She loved to see him truly at peace, his brow unfurrowed. There was a softness to Josh when he was asleep that was rarely visible when he was awake and in constant motion. More than anything though, Donna loved that she was finally allowed to do this freely. She didn't have to steal glances of him from behind the mask of papers and briefing books.

With her foot, she kicked against the side of the sofa a few times while taking another forkful of pasta. Josh stirred slightly and shrugged his shoulders a little deeper into folds of his blanket.

"Joshua," Donna said, a little louder than necessary through a mouth full of food. "I'm eating without you."

"Mmmnoo," Josh muttered, muffled through his blankets. "M'up"

Donna hid her laughter behind her fork.

"What?" she asked innocently, taking another bite.

"Donnaaaa," Josh whined, not moving.

"I'm going to go eat it now," Donna said, turning away with her plate. "Mine and yours."

"Don't eat my food," Josh grumbled sleepily, his head had emerged from the blankets. Donna looked back at him with a smirk and took another bite.

A few minutes later, Donna was sat at the table, enjoying a breadstick when Josh emerged from the living room. His hair was a disheveled mess and his eyes were still half closed. He wasn't as much walking as he was shuffling his feet forward without their consent. He was dressed in a pair of old shorts and an even older Harvard sweatshirt with a pair of blue and white stripped socks.

"Don't eatmyfood," he muttered. His words mushing together in his only semi conscious state.

"Like I'm going to eat two full plates of pasta all by myself," Donna said. Josh's eyebrows rose up into the mess of his hair.

"Hey!" Donna squealed as Josh took his seat.

Josh didn't answer; instead he went straight to loading his plate with pasta and breadsticks.

"Josh!"

"Mmm?" Josh said completely oblivious to Donna being offended.

"What did that mean?"

"What did what mean?"

"Your eyebrows?"

"What did my eyebrows mean?"

"Yes."

"I don't know what that means," Josh said quietly after a moment trying to comprehend the conversation.

"You raised your eyebrows when I said I couldn't eat two plates of pasta," Donna said, dangerously close to pouting. Josh winced, but couldn't help the way the corner of his mouth twitched.

"Josh!"

"You're pregnant!"

"So?"

"So pregnant people eat more!"

"Not all of them," Donna said, crossing her arms.

"Maybe not, but you do."

Josh ducked as Donna chucked a breadstick at him.

"Jerk," she muttered as she turned back to her food.

"It's cute," Josh told her sheepishly. Donna narrowed her eyes.

"How?"

"You finally have a reason to be stealing my food now," Josh said as he stifled a yawn. "How was work?"

Donna let his comments slide, eager to talk about her day.

"I think Toby's happy to finally have a researcher who isn't scared of him."

"Is he being nice?"

"He's being Toby."

Josh let out a small laugh at that.

"Is he still you know," Josh started playing with his food. "Still mad at us?"

"More you than me," Donna said honestly. Toby had been to visit only a few times since Josh was last in the hospital and each time had been purely work related. And Josh understood, Toby was the head of the communications department and Josh Lyman was a walking time bomb for Toby. It was only a matter of time until someone found out.

"Yeah," Josh replied, lost in thought.

"So I think I've found my replacement."

Josh came back to the present and pulled a face as he took a second to process her words.

"Right."

"He's very nice. Eager to please."

"What's his name?"

"Jake."

Josh grimaced.

"What!"

"Have you ever met somebody named Jake that wasn't an asshole?"

"Yes!"

Josh didn't look convinced.

"Josh, you have to accept that SOMEBODY is going to have to take my place and I think it should be Jake."

"Whatever," Josh said, leaning forward to focus a little harder on his food. Donna chose to drop the subject for now. Josh had been resistant to every name she brought up to him. She knew he just didn't want to face the reality to losing her as his assistant.

"Margaret confronted me today," Donna said after a few moments, a little shyly.

"Confronted you?" Josh asked straightening up, looking concerned. "About what?"

"About why it looks like I'm smuggling a soccer ball around the office under my shirt."

Josh gave a sheepish smile and waited for her to continue.

"I admitted I was pregnant, but I didn't tell her it was yours," Donna continued. She looked a little ashamed at this.

"Donna, that's what CJ told us to do. Keep it on the down low for now," Josh said, leaning forward to grab her hand.

"It feels like I'm lying."

"Donna, there's no way we could trust Margaret to keep that a secret," Josh snorted.

"Margaret can keep secrets," Donna said, a little defensive.

"Leo's maybe. Not ours."

"I guess."

"So does that mean the whole office knows you're pregnant now?" Josh asked as he reached for another breadstick.

"I mean," Donna took a bite of a breadstick and gestured to her belly, which was just barely poking out from the bottom of her shirt. "It's pretty obvious at this point. I think they already figured it out."

"Maybe people just thought you let yourself go," Josh said casually. He smirked at Donna's predictable scowl.

"This is your fault."

"What is?"

"Me getting fat."

"You're not getting fat!"

"Josh!"

"You're growing a person! That's not the same."

Donna just shook her head and took another bite of her food.

"You're fault," she said, pointing the breadstick at him, but keeping her eyes on her plate.

"You were there too!"

"And yet none of my pants fit me anymore while you walked away unscathed."

Josh looked flummoxed at what to say next.

"I mean, I got shot. Does that help?"

"A little," Donna allowed, smirking at him now. Josh rolled his eyes at her.

"What movie did you bring for us today?"

Josh and Donna had fallen into the habit of watching movies most nights. Since Josh's excursion to the West Wing a few weeks ago, they decided against having him leave the house for anything other than doctor appointments. They meaning Donna, but Josh was mostly compliant. He would whine about it, but Donna didn't have to worry about him getting overconfident.

Since Josh had gotten home from his last trip to the hospital, Donna had scarcely left his side. They'd never explicitly discussed it, but for all intents and purposes, Donna had effectively moved in. The first few nights she had taken up residence in the guest bedroom after Josh had fallen asleep, but once Josh realized, he laughed and insisted she shared his bed.

"I already got you pregnant, what's the worst that could happen?"

And so Donna would periodically collect more clothes from her apartment while spending most of her time at Josh's.

"It's a good one," Donna told him, talking with her mouth full.

"I doubt that," Josh quipped.

"It has Julia Roberts!"

"So?"

"And Hugh Grant."

"You got another rom-com?" Josh rolled his eyes, but Donna wasn't fooled.

"You love rom-coms," she stated plainly.

"Do not."

"Do too!"

"I only pretend to like them so you won't feel bad," Josh told her, avoiding her gaze.

"You only pretend you don't like them so Sam and Toby won't make fun of you."

Josh just shook his head. He knew she was right, but he'd never admit it.

"Sam likes them."

"And Sam is happier for it."

Leftovers stored faithfully in the microwave, they took their usual places in front of the TV as "Notting Hill" started playing. Donna sat with her feet perched on the arm of the sofa and her head on a pillow settled in Josh's lap while Josh sat with his feet up on the coffee table. Josh fingers were currently lightly clung around Donna's right hand as it rested upon her stomach.

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" Donna asked about an hour into the movie, staring down at her swollen belly, tracing a finger around it lightly. Josh looked at her.

"I donno. Stand up."

"What?"

"Let me look at your belly properly and I'll tell you."

"What?" Donna asked incredulously. "That won't work."

"Live with the pain of not knowing then," Josh said, turning his attention back to the TV.

"Don't you want to know?" Donna asked him. Josh shrugged.

"It's still going to poop and cry either way so." Donna smiled, endeared by the way Josh seemed not to care one way or the other what sex the baby was.

Taking her head from the pillow in his lap, she straightened up and stood in front of the screen. She pulled her baggy t-shirt up and over her belly. Her bump was almost perfectly round at this point. She couldn't have hidden behind the big lunch excuse if she had wanted to. She turned so that her belly was in profile to Josh.

"Tell me oh wise one, boy or girl?"

"I'm going with girl. Your carrying high, which means girl."

Donna gave him an incredulous look.

"How can you possibly know this?"

"I know things!"

"Josh," Donna said, laughing, but exasperated.

"They were talking about it on a talk show, okay," Josh muttered. Donna laughed at the image of Josh watching the View, answering their questions from the comfort of the sofa.

"Would you be happy with a girl?" Donna asked. Josh perked up and shot her a smile.

"I'd love it if it was a girl."

"Why?" Donna asked him, smiling at his infectious enthusiasm.

"Cause hopefully she'd be a mini you and she can teach me inane trivia facts nobody in their right mind should care about."

"Oh." Donna's face immediately crumpled as her hand shot up to her mouth. Her eyes were growing damp with unshed tears.

"Shit, Donna, please don't-"

"I know, I know," Donna muttered, annoyed. "These damn hormones." Josh walked the few feet between them and gently guided her back to the sofa.

"I'm kidding, I don't want it to be a girl. I don't want it to be anything like you I swear," Josh said jokingly, trying to reverse the situation. Donna giggled and shook her head.

"You know I'm not normally like this, okay," she said, dabbing at her eyes.

"Eh," Josh said dismissively. Donna turned to him with an incredulous look on her face.

"When have you ever seen me cry before YOU made me get incredibly fat and unstable.?"

Josh smiled and shrugged, enjoying her incredulity.

"I hope it's a girl too, that way we can spare her the worry of having your hairline," Donna shot back at him. Josh snorted and rolled his eyes.

-

Two Days Later

-

Josh was walking to the bathroom when he caught sight of Donna stood with her hands perched on her hips, gazing into the empty guest room with a pensive look on her face.

"Donna?"

"We need a crib."

"Okay."

"And a changing table."

"Right."

"And diapers."

"Donna-"

"How do we not have anything?"

"We still have like four months to go!"

"We need to be prepared!" She turned to stare seriously at Josh, who wavered under her gaze.

"We'll get stuff. Except-"

"What?"

"I," Josh looked down, embarrassed. He'd been thinking about this a lot lately, but he didn't want to admit to Donna that he was scared to venture out to the store. He wasn't sure he could make it there and back. "I can't go to a furniture store. What if a photographer sees me go in?"

Donna patted Josh's cheek.

"I'll take CJ. It'll be better that way anyways."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means this way we spare the baby from having a room that's completely decked out in Mets memorabilia." Josh scowled at her.

"If we don't act fast, Toby might sneak the kid a Yankee hat."

"Hey listen," Donna said quietly. Josh sobered and leaned against the doorjamb to listen. Donna had been anxious about this question for a few days. While she essentially lived in Josh's apartment at this point, she was worried about bringing this up to him. She didn't want to trigger some weird emotional switch in Josh's brain that would make him panic.

"Rent is coming up soon for my apartment and-"

"You're still paying-" Josh stopped himself. "Donna, I thought." He stopped again. "Can't you just move in here?"

A small smile lit up Donna's face.

"You want me too?"

"Haven't you already been doing that?" Josh looked genuinely confused.

"We've never discussed it."

"Oh," Josh's brow furrowed. "I mean, I kind of thought you already were living here."

"Is that what you want?"

Josh laughed.

"Is that what I want?" he repeated incredulously. "The mother of my child living with me? The woman who gives me takeout and sex?" Donna hit him lightly on his good arm.

"I mean, you won't let me drink beer, so that's a drawback. I might have to think about it actually," Josh said, a finger coming up to drum against his chin.

"I'm staying," she said as she walked into the guest room, her mind whirring as she mentally tried to place furniture about the room. Josh followed her in and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"I'm glad," he said as he placed a kiss in the crook of her neck.

-

The Next Day

-

"Donna are you sure this is where this piece goes?" Josh was sat on the floor of what was slowly becoming the baby's bedroom. Pieces of wood were scattered all around him as well as different piles of screws.

"That's what the instructions say," Donna was sitting on a chair with her feet up,

"Are you sure you're on the right page?" Sam was over, and doing his best to assist Josh in building the crib. Sam crawled over to where Donna was and took the instruction packet. Donna watched on in amusement as Sam started turning the booklet around in his hands, even viewing it upside down.

"Hard to believe you guys run the country," Donna muttered. Only Josh heard and he shot her an amused look.

"Are you sure the kid even needs a crib?" Sam asked. "Can't we just put it in a basket or something."

"Fool proof plan," Josh said with a smile at Donna. "We can put it to bed in a river every night."

Sam scowled. With a big sigh, Donna heaved herself off the chair and lowered herself to the floor besides Josh and Sam.

"Gimme," she said, her hand out in gesture towards the instruction manual. Looking surprised, Sam handed her the manual.

"Give me that," Donna said now, pointing at the screwdriver. Josh obliged.

Within 10 minutes, the two boys sat transfixed as Donna went about constructing something that actually resembled a crib.

"You're amazing," Josh said quietly. Donna rolled her eyes at his genuine awe.

"I swear I'm just reading the instructions. I don't know how you two made that so hard."

"Donna!" All three heads turned to find a disbelieving CJ standing in the doorway, multiple large shopping bags adorning both arms.

"Hi," Donna said innocently. Sam quickly snatched back the manual, Josh the screwdriver.

"You're not supposed to be building it!"

"CJ-"

"The whole point is that you relax while the father of your child struggles with hard manual labor!"

Josh and Sam shared concerned looks.

"You two fly boys really are good for nothing, aren't you?"

"What's in the bag?" Sam asked her, trying to divert her from her warpath. CJ looked at the pair of them a little longer, trying to decide whether she was done yelling at them. She didn't miss the way Josh's chest was heaving a little heavier than normal, his fingers were drumming against his chest lightly in the way they often did when he was feeling some sort of discomfort.

"All of the baby stuff Donna ordered."

Josh's eyes went wide.

"How much stuff did you buy?" he was trying to keep his tone from rising.

"The stuff we need!" Donna said defensively. Josh poked his head inside one of the bags and pulled out a tiny stuffed llama.

"The kid needs this?" he asked.

"Josh-"

"I've already got the insurance companies breathing down my neck, Donna. I can't afford to be buying every stuffed animal under the sun," Josh muttered distractedly. He looked away from the group and listened as the other bags were explored.

"Josh." Donna's voice was soft and friendly. Josh turned to her to see her holding a tiny Mets onesie, with a tiny baseball hat and all.

"Oh my god," he said quietly, reaching for the onesie. All his frustration immediately evaporated.

"I can't believe something can actually be small enough to fit into this," Josh said, admiring it gently. Donna turned back to the other two with a satisfied smile. "What else did you get, CJ?"

About an hour and a half later, the room was finally looking like a room. They had the crib built, the changing table set up. There were baby clothes in the closet and in the dresser, though Josh insisted on leaving the Mets onesie out where they could see it. A delivery man had arrived with a large cushioned rocking chair that he thankfully installed himself. And now, CJ, Sam, and Donna were sat on the floor, on top of a new rug, all enjoying some pizza while Josh was passed out in the rocking chair.

"You know, that should be you asleep, Donna," CJ said, shaking her head. Donna smirked.

"Leave him alone, he's had a long day."

"And yet he's not carrying a human child inside of him," CJ said, still looking disapproving.

"He had physical therapy earlier today," Donna said, a little defensive.

"Oh," CJ replied, looking a little regretful. "How's that going?"

"Good I think," Donna shrugged. "He's not about to run a marathon anytime soon, but he has a lot of his mobility back."

"He's been looking a lot better lately, Donna," Sam said kindly. "Every time I come over he seems to have just a bit more energy."

Donna smiled wide at Sam.

"We're getting there."

"Got any coffee?" CJ asked. Donna nodded and made to stand up. Sam stood up quicker and extended his arm out, helping Donna up. She smiled gratefully at him and then moved to grab a blanket to drape over Josh.

"Getting all the practice you need for the kid with this one," CJ muttered with a smile. The three of them made their way out of the room. Donna paused in the doorway to take another admiring look at the room. They had gone for a mixture of neutral colors. There was a lot of grey and a mint colored green accenting the room. It was becoming more real by the day. A hand unconsciously made its way to the side of her belly as she felt a mixture of anxiety and excitement rush through her. She tried to live in this current moment. Where she was safe, where the world outside had no idea about her or Josh or the baby. She tried to exist in only this warm place, but it was hard not to let the fears of tomorrow invade her thoughts. Fears of what would happen when people found out, fears about her and Josh, fears about parenthood.

"It looks great, Donna," CJ said from behind her, a hand squeezing Donna's forearm, shaking Donna from her thoughts. She nodded and with one last admiring look at the room (and Josh), she turned and flicked off the light.


	13. Chapter 13

"Josh, hurry up! We're gonna be late," Donna called over her shoulder. "We'll stop at Starbucks and pick something up on the way."

Josh came hopping out of the bedroom on one foot, hands trying to tie one shoe while he held onto his cell phone between his teeth.

"I'm coming," he muttered through clenched teeth.

It was mid November now. Josh was in his second week back at the office. He had enjoyed a hero's welcome of sorts upon his return from his co-workers that Josh felt genuinely touched by. He found his desk covered in cards, notes, and presents with a "welcome home" banner over the door. (Donna's work). On doctor's orders, Josh was to take it slow for the first two weeks, which meant half days and a reduced workload. Donna had corned the senior staff into a room and made them promise they would stick together on making sure Josh abide by these rules.

The first few days were rocky. Josh was taken aback by just how exhausted he felt within hours of being at work. To everyone's surprise, it wasn't difficult to get him to stick to a half day schedule. Still, despite Josh's obvious exhaustion, the office felt rejuvenated at his return. It was as though the sun had finally emerged from the clouds and they were able to find their way back to the status quo. Josh didn't miss the looks his coworkers gave him when they thought he wasn't looking.

"What?" Josh had asked CJ as they were walking out of Leo's office. CJ had looked at him with shining eyes and pulled him into a quick side hug as they walked.

"We missed you."

Being back had made him realize how hard this time had been on everybody else too. Maybe not physically, but his co-workers had added many of Josh's responsibilities onto their own plates to try and get the staff through Josh's recovery. Josh knew this was no small feat. He worked from home sporadically, but largely the burden fell on his office and the senior staff. It had been a team effort by everybody to get him back into his own office working.

Now though, Josh had regained stamina and was pushing his luck. He was into week two and had stayed until 4 on Monday, and 5 on Tuesday, but Donna was prepared to get him home by 3 today. Jake the new assistant was great at keeping Josh's office running, but had yet to find the confidence to keep Josh himself in line. Donna was more than happy to step in for Jake in those situations. Jake had been drilled intensely by Donna to prepare him for Josh's arrival and Josh didn't hate him, which was certainly something.

It helped that Josh enjoyed seeing Donna thrive in her new role in Toby's office. Seeing Donna gain a new sense of confidence was all Josh needed to suck it up and accept Jake. Though Josh hated not being as close to her in the office anymore, nobody seemed to mind when he would visit with her at her new desk.

Donna was doing well with her position in Toby's office. Her place as a researcher had a different flow to it, but she had picked it up quite easily. She understood the kind of work that Toby needed to be successful and she benefited from knowing what Toby was like going in. Donna was surprised that her new position had spawned a new found friendship with Toby. Toby could be grumpy and grumbly, but Donna expected that and Toby had quickly begun to rely on Donna's organization and intelligence. While she knew there was still some lingering resentment from Toby towards Josh, Toby for some reason had no problems with her. He'd even ask about the baby every now and then.

Now getting close to the end of her pregnancy, Donna felt like a small refrigerator walking around the office. They still hadn't found out the sex of the baby, deciding instead to be surprised, but Donna could feel he or she kicking strongly now. It never grew old to see the way Josh's face would light up when he got to feel the baby kick.

The people around the office still didn't know Josh was the father. They kept it low key around each other with their coworkers around and tried their best not to give themselves away. Luckily their normal relationship that everyone was used to meant they got away with quite a lot. Nobody seemed surprised when Josh asked to feel the baby kick. That didn't mean there weren't rumors around the office. Both of them had heard whisperings from others about the two of them, but they paid it no mind.

Standing in line at Starbucks, Donna was getting antsy. The pair of them were both engrossed in the newspaper today, eyes hungrily eating up the words on the page.

"Why is this line so long, I just want a muffin," she whined. There was an impatient hand drumming against her belly. Josh smirked at her but didn't reply; instead he focused on reading his paper. Donna was always hungry these days.

"Josh!" Josh's head picked up to see Danny Concannon waving at him near the door.

"Be right back," he muttered to Donna, who didn't look up from her paper.

"Kay," she answered distractedly.

"Hey, Danny," Josh said happily. He hadn't seen his friend in months. Danny looked relieved to see Josh doing so well.

"How ya doin?" Danny asked him genuinely, grasping his friend's upper arm as they shook hands. "You look great. -Well you don't look like you're not knockin' on death's door anymore."

Josh smirked and rolled his eyes. "I'm good, Danny. I'm good."

Danny smiled back, happy to see his old friend overcome such odds.

"I'm glad, Josh. Really glad."

"Thanks," Josh said, a little shy.

"Hey, this is Harry Jenkins," Danny said suddenly. He was gesturing to the man stood a few steps behind him. He had blonde hair and glasses and looked to be on the young side.

"He's pretty new here, just moved to Washington as a reporter. I knew his uncle back in the day so I agreed to show him around a little bit."

"Nice to meet you," Josh said, shaking the man's hand.

"Likewise," Harry replied.

"How are you finding DC so far?"

"Pretty expensive," Harry said with a laugh. Josh returned the laugh and nodded.

Donna was walking over to them now, her right hand holding the drink carrier and her left holding out the paper. Still absorbed in the paper, she didn't notice Josh was talking to anyone.

"Hey, they didn't have any banana nut muffins left, but I think we have blueberry muffins at home. I put something blueberry into the pantry yesterday anyway and besides you like blueberries better than bananas," she said all while her eyes never left the newspaper. Josh froze and he stared at the ground, terrified to look at the two journalists in front of him.

"Donna," Josh said quietly. Donna's head snapped up and she realized in horror who had just overheard her words. She was wearing a long black jacket today, but it wasn't fastened so her protruding belly dressed all in red was extremely visible. She saw Danny's eyes dart between the two of them and downwards toward her stomach. It was clear he was connecting the dots here. Josh watched in horror as Harry did the same.

"Do you two live together?" Harry asked, hardly masking the eagerness in his voice.

"I- no- we," Josh began stuttering.

"Didn't she used to be your assistant?" Harry asked, cutting Josh off. Josh looked panicked at Donna. It'd been a while since he had dealt with nosy reporters. He was out of practice and it was showing.

"I don't think-"

"Are you-" Harry began asking.

"Harry," Danny said sharply, cutting across the younger man. He looked at Danny in surprise and then without another word, he turned away.

"Hey, I gotta go," he said as he pulled out his cell phone. "It was nice meeting you!"

"Harry-" Danny tried to stop him but he was already gone.

Danny turned back to Josh and Donna who were standing there in shock, faces pale.

"Guys," Danny began quietly. He didn't have to say it. A brand new reporter looking to make a good impression at his new paper? Josh and Donna didn't stand a chance of him not contacting his editor about what he just witnessed.

"Had to be today you showed him around town, huh," Josh said miserably. He wiped a hand down his mouth. Danny didn't know what to say.

"We should go," Josh said a moment. He looked at Donna, who just nodded miserably. Danny nodded.

"Hey," he said as Josh and Donna began walking away. They turned to look at him. "Congratulations."

Donna gave a small smile back while Josh's eyes immediately shot sideways to make sure nobody else overheard. With one last look at Danny, he left the coffee shop.

-

Josh closed the door behind him as Donna stepped into his office. He leaned back against it with his eyes closed as Donna sat down miserably in one of his visitors' chairs.

"I didn't see them," she whispered. "I didn't realize you were talking to anybody."

"I know," Josh answered simply. "We need to talk to CJ before her briefing."

He wasn't angry, just terrified. The situation they feared most was about to rear its head at them. Donna nodded and out of old habit, grabbed the phone and dialed CJ's office before Josh could say anything else. She exchanged a few words and hung up. The two just stared at each other, fearing what was about to come. Minutes of silence passed before they heard a knock at the door and Josh opened it with a resigned sigh.

"What's going on?" CJ asked as she stepped inside. She looked to be in a good mood, there was a spring in her step. Her smile faded as she saw the miserable looks on Josh and Donna's faces.

"Who knows?" CJ asked.

"Some twerp reporter Danny knows."

"That Danny knows!?" CJ demanded, her hackles immediately up to know Danny was involved with this.

"It's not his fault, CJ," Donna told her.

"How sure is he?"

"Sure enough."

"So that's all we got huh, barely even a week."

Neither Josh nor Donna answered.

"You know, Josh," CJ said, her voice dripping with agitation. "It was a lot quieter around here when you were stuck in your apartment. It goes without saying that I need you two to keep your mouths shut." Josh looked away, his eyes fixated on the wall. "We were expecting this to happen eventually. We have to play our cards right." She checked her watch. "I need to get going for the briefing. You two may want to lay low here for the day."

Donna leaned forward to run a hand across his arm, but Josh kept his eyes on the wall.

-

Standing behind the door to the press briefing room, CJ took a moment to compose herself. She straightened her shirt, her skirt. Taking a deep breath, she rehearsed one more time in her head how to reply to any reporters' comments.

"CJ?" Carol asked, standing by with her hand on the door handle. CJ opened her eyes and nodded.

"Good morning", she greeted the crowd. She scanned the seating arrangement quickly trying to figure out who was new. Danny caught her eye and nodded slowly at her. CJ didn't miss the significance in Danny's gaze. She nodded back and tried to prepare herself.

The briefing started off normal enough. CJ deflected and joked and tried her best to answer serious questions. Then she saw it. She saw the unfamiliar face that had blended in with the crowd. For a moment she considered not calling on him, considered ignoring the situation all together, but she knew that if this news was going to get out, some basic facts should be established as opposed to wild speculation.

"Yes-"

"Ms. Cregg," began the young man, overeager and cutting her off. CJ blinked at the formal use of her name.

"You can call me-"

"Is Josh Lyman in a relationship with his pregnant assistant?"

CJ watched as the reporters as a whole sat up straighter, their interests peaked and their minds racing. Danny sunk down a little deeper into his chair.

"Excuse me?"

"Josh Lyman. Is the Deputy Chief of Staff in a relationship with his pregnant assistant? Is he the father?"

CJ let out a small laugh, trying her hardest to play this cool.

"You mean Jake? He's pregnant?"

Chuckles escaped from several reporters.

"Donna Moss," the reporter insisted. "I have-"

"Donna Moss moved departments and hasn't been working for Josh Lyman for some time now," CJ said calmly. She looked around the room for more questions, praying they would allow her to move on.

Of course she wasn't that lucky.

"CJ," another reporter questioned. "Was she moved because she's pregn-"

"We don't comment on the personal lives of our staffers," CJ said shortly. She called on someone else.

"Is Josh Lyman in a relationship with Donna Moss?"

CJ sighed, frustrated and rubbed at her forehead.

"We do not comment on the personal lives of our staffers."

She would try one more question.

"Does the White House think it's appropriate for a senior White House official to have a relationship with somebody who works under him?" And with that, CJ closed her notes with a snap and left the briefing room defeated. There was nothing else she could do. They would have to ride out the storm and pray they all lasted til morning.

She made a beeline straight for Josh's office and entered without knocking. Donna was sat in Josh's chair, hands resting on her belly while Josh sat on his desk. They were staring towards the TV. Josh had the remote up to his mouth. CJ could tell they had hardly spoken a word since she had left them here.

They turned to look at her and the look on CJ's face said it all.

"Yeah," Josh muttered, defeated. He turned off the television.


	14. Chapter 14

The senior staff were gathered in Leo's office. A collection of different newspapers were spread across the table, all of them making mention of President Bartlet's Deputy Chief of Staff and his very pregnant former assistant. None of them were painting a very kind picture. The man in question was huddled in the corner, eyes fixed on the ground as the people around him tried to decide what to do.

"Maybe he does a sit down interview with someone and then we can move on," CJ suggested. Leo shook his head.

"No, we don't want to give more weight to this story than we need to. If we treat this like a scandal then so will everyone else."

"Leo," Toby said, scoffing slightly. "You don't think this is a scandal?"

Josh rubbed an agitated hand across his face. CJ glanced at him before cutting in.

"Listen, Leo. Right now, the story is that Josh Lyman knocked up his assistant. For all the public knows, he's up and left her. They don't know Josh and Donna. They don't know the history or their relationship. Right now Josh looks like some creep abusing his power when we all know that's not..." CJ took a breath and looked over at Josh again. His eyes remained on the floor.

"We all know this isn't what happened here. We need to tell people that."

Leo looked unmoved.

"You really think we can trust him with an interview?"

Josh winced.

"Leo, we can just tell them the truth. Which is that Josh and Donna decided to pursue a relationship and because of that, measures were taken to ensure the professionalism within the office remained intact. We moved Donna to a different department where her work and Josh's can no longer interfere with each other. We assure everyone that the relationship is mutual. Maybe make a joke about it being typical Josh Lyman to run too fast in a new relationship. Warm everyone up a little bit."

Josh bristled visibly at this.

"Can I go? I'm clearly not needed here."

"Sit," Leo commanded. So sharply, that Josh winced again. He complied.

"You know, Josh. You've been living in this bubble for the past few months and you know what? Maybe we were guilty in letting it slide too easily, but the fact of the matter is that we're now faced with a potential disaster to this administration. We pretended it wasn't going to happen and now it's happened. In any other scenario the easy answer here is to show you the door, but we know we can't do that after what happened in Rosslyn." Josh felt his face heat up. Never had he resented a meeting more than he had this one.

Leo wasn't done.

"It's time to come back to reality, Josh, and the reality is that you slept with your assistant, didn't use protection, and now this administration has to deal with the consequences of that. We've all tried to sweep it under the rug and pretend it's fine over the past few months because that was the easier option with you recovering."

Josh felt like there was a dangerous swirl of fire dancing in his belly. Leo was acting as if he got off scott free after the staff found out about the baby, but the reality was that Toby still kept Josh at arms length and Josh swore that Leo has never looked at him the same since he found out. Sam and CJ had been supportive and for that Josh was grateful, but otherwise he'd had a pretty constant reminder of what Toby and Leo had thought of this.

Josh also resented the hell out of the fact that his baby was being treated as some terrible disease that had been set upon the West Wing. While he had been as terrified and upset as anyone when he found out. He'd grown incredibly attached and excited about the idea of his new little family. He was having a baby with the woman he'd loved for two years. With each day that passed, the reality of impending fatherhood set in that much more.

Talking to Donna's belly had become a regular occurrence at home, he would take her up on any invitation to feel the baby kicking. Him and Donna would regularly stay up arguing over names. If he was being honest, Josh would admit to having enjoyed the last month or so of Donna's pregnancy. They were both scared as hell, but for the same reasons all other new parents were. Leo was right when he suggested Josh had fallen into a false sense of security. Now, the peace had been shattered.

Josh had to face the consequences that came with his and Donna's positions within the White House. People were going to take issue with it and logically he understood, but he wished he could make people understand that Donna was more than a cheap thrill. This wasn't some classic scenario of a boss taking advantage of his young and naive secretary. This was Donna.

"What do you want me to do?" Josh asked quietly.

"Keep your mouth shut."

CJ jumped in again. "Leo, I'm telling you. It's a human interest story. We have to feed them human interest."

"CJ, I really don't want to take our chances on trying to warm up the press with another Josh Lyman calamity press conference. Do you?"

Josh felt another sharp sting in his chest as the hits kept coming. He should have known Leo would be like this, but having the man he looked up to more than any other continually break him down like this was its own kind of hell. While Josh understood why Leo was as angry as he was, he'd never quite experienced scorn like this from the man.

After a period of silence filled the room, Leo spoke up.

"We keep this quiet. You don't give the press anything, CJ. It'll die down. Josh and Donna no longer work together so they are allowed to be engaged in a romantic involvement."

"We don't have much sympathy left from the shooting now Josh is back at work," he said quietly.

"No," Leo agreed.

"I agree with CJ," Sam said, speaking up from his spot at the table. He looked upset, the lines in his face pulled taught.

"I don't care," Leo said shortly.

The staff all felt the uncomfortable energy filling the room. It went to show just how deeply this situation was affecting Leo. Never was he this sharp and brusque with them. He often encouraged his staff to vocalize their thoughts, but because this situation was so radioactive and it involved a man who Leo cared about as though he were his own son, Leo didn't have his usual patience. He looked as tired as anyone in the room.

"That's all."

All but Josh filtered out of the room. He hung around, his arms leaning forward on one of the chairs.

"If it's easier to fire me or have me quit-" he started.

"Josh, we did not keep this place afloat for three months in your absence only to have you leave as soon as you got back."

Josh stared.

"You're needed in a professional capacity. Make sure you don't let that slip too, hm?"

Josh didn't know how to respond. He turned and made for the door, his finger drumming against that familiar spot on his chest.

-

Donna had never felt more self conscious in her life. Here she was, almost eight months pregnant, feeling like a small minivan, and everyone around her wouldn't stop staring. She was seated at her desk in the communications bullpen, desperately wishing she could disappear. She tugged at her shirt again, trying to make the buttons sit right against the swell of her belly and sighed.

She knew her co-workers all suspected this anyways, she didn't understand why they were all acting so scandalized now. Toby was walking brusquely towards his office and Donna couldn't help but stare as he went past. They made eye contact briefly, but Toby quickly looked away. Donna felt incredibly alone.

Donna did her best to continue with her day normally. She certainly had the workload to keep her occupied, but as the clock flicked to 6 p.m. and then 7 p.m. she began to worry. Josh hadn't made any effort to see her or talk to her.

She checked her watch again. 7:53. There were very few people left in the office. The chances of them making a scene were small. With a deep breath, she pushed herself up from her seat and started to make her way to Josh's office.

Unsurprisingly, she found him at his desk. His head was being propped up with his left hand as he scribbled furiously with his right. His hair was disheveled and he looked stressed. Donna knocked lightly on the open door. Josh jumped lightly and looked up at her.

"Hi," Donna said quietly, her hand lifting lightly to wave. The awkwardness between them was palpable.

"Hi," Josh said back, his eyes dropping quickly to his desk again.

"You ready to go?" Donna asked. Josh glanced at the clock and shot a guilty look at Donna.

"I have to stay and work on this a little more, you should go though." He started writing again. Donna's brow furrowed.

"Josh."

"It's fine, Donna. I'll meet you at home later." He wasn't looking at her. Deciding an argument wasn't worth it, Donna relented.

"Fine," she said in a small voice. She turned on a heel and left without saying goodbye.

-

At home, Donna immediately changed into a pair of Josh's boxers and one of his Harvard sweatshirts that still mostly fit her. She heated up some of the leftovers from dinner a few nights ago and picked at it feebly.

Donna jumped as the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Donna." It was CJ.

"Hey," Donna replied, brightening considerably.

"I wanted to check in and see how you were doing."

Donna's face fell.

"Well, none of my clothes fit, everyone at work hates me, and the father of my child is avoiding me."

"Donna nobody at work hates you."

"You didn't see their faces."

"You've proven your worth to this administration 10 times over. Everybody knows that."

Donna sighed and shook her head. "Now I'm just the girl who got knocked up by her boss and put into a job I didn't earn."

"Donna," CJ replied, her voice aching with sympathy. "We're going to get past it."

"How did the meeting with Leo go?" Donna asked.

CJ hesitated before answering.

"We're trying to come to the right conclusion."

"I think I saw a photographer on my way home," Donna muttered.

"Press attention will be at an all time high for Josh, that's for sure," CJ sighed. "And now of course you."

"I'm worried about him, CJ," Donna admitted.

"Donna, don't worry about Josh. You're the one who is having to deal with carrying a bowling ball around all day. One that gets heavier by the week."

Donna let out a light laugh at that.

"Keep your chin up, okay? I'll keep an eye on Josh."

"He's still at the office."

"He'll be home soon."

Donna hesitated.

"And if he's not, I'll kick his ass tomorrow."

At hearing Donna's laugh, CJ relaxed marginally.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"Kay," Donna replied.

"Good night, Donna."

"Good night, CJ."

Josh walked in around midnight. Donna had done her very best to wait up for him, but being as pregnant as she was, she didn't stand much of a chance. He walked into the bedroom and his eyes went to Donna's sleeping form on the bed. He immediately felt an onrush of guilt and anxiety at the sight of her. He felt awful for the position he had put her in and tremendous anxiety at what lies ahead for them. Not having the heart or energy to wake her, he crawled in next to her and turned off the lights.

The next morning when Donna woke up, Josh was already gone.

-

"Joshua," CJ said, walking into his office unannounced. It was late in the day and Josh had been buried in his office all day. Josh looked up with trepidation in his face. He didn't like the way CJ was looking at him.

"What," he asked testily.

He saw CJ's eyebrows shoot up.

"I haven't even said anything and you're giving me attitude?"

"You're going to say stuff."

"I wanted to see how Donna was."

"Oh." Josh deflated a bit. He then hesitated.

"She's worried about you."

"CJ-"

"Josh, I swear to god if you take any of this out on her, I will kick your ass into next week." Josh blinked a few times, the earliness of CJ's attack taking him by surprise.

"You know what, CJ!" Josh exclaimed, he shot to his feet. CJ knew already he'd been waiting to have this fight. It wasn't her that he was actually mad at. She was just the closest person.

"I've had to take it from just about everybody in this building. I have Leo riding my ass every damn day to the point where I don't know if he's ever going to be able to look me in the eye again, I have the threat of destroying a whole Presidential term hanging over my head, I have Toby in his office stabbing a voodoo doll of me with needles every five minutes, and maybe just MAYBE, I don't need to be lectured yet again about how I'm fucking up or have fucked up or what I'll fuck up tomorrow." Josh had to sit after he finished. CJ wasn't surprised to see he was out of breath. He was recovered at this point, but Josh still had his moments.

She calmly took a seat in front of him in the visitor's chair.

"You're overstating your importance if you think you alone can destroy a presidency."

Josh let out a short laugh and put his head in his hands.

"She's almost 8 months pregnant Josh," CJ said, almost pleading with Josh to understand.

"I know."

"She's having to deal with the scorn of everyone around her too."

"I know."

"The last thing she needs is for you to put more stress on her." Josh looked up and made eye contact with CJ.

"I know."

"So why didn't you go home last night?"

"I want to fix stuff here before I ruin more stuff there," he said in a small voice.

"Ruin more stuff?" CJ questioned. "What stuff?"

"Everything, CJ! Come on."

CJ still wore a confused look on her face.

"Josh," she started slowly. "You've been doing a great job at home. Don't you know that?"

By the wide eyed look on Josh's face, CJ guessed he didn't.

"You've been there for Donna every step of the way, I see the way your eyes light up when you get to feel the baby kick or you hear Donna talking about names."

Josh was hanging on her every word.

"Don't let what's happening in the office affect what's happening at home."

Josh nodded stiffly.

"Take your medicine with Leo and be thankful you still have a job."

"Yeah," Josh said quietly.

"And Josh..." CJ waited until Josh looked up at her again. "Donna is the last person who needs anything else piled on her plate."

"I know," Josh agreed, his voice still soft.

"At least all of your pants still fit," CJ commented lightly. Josh smirked.

"She won't believe me when I tell her she looks great."

"That's because her pants don't fit."

"But she's creating life! That's a pretty cool reason to have your pants not fit. Better than eating too much take out anyways."

CJ was giving him an odd look mixed with sympathy and affection.

"I wish Leo trusted me to do this your way."

CJ sighed. "Me too."

"Maybe they'll get bored."

"Not unless we give them something."

They fell into an uneasy silence. Josh rubbed a frustrated hand over his head.

"You should go home."

Josh glanced at the clock. It was already six. He nodded and stood up, grabbing his coat.

"Rub her feet," CJ called out after him as Josh left the office.

"Donna?" Josh yelled out into the apartment as soon as he stepped through the door. He didn't have to go far. Donna was perched on the couch, a bowl of ice cream balancing on her belly as she watched MSNBC. Josh couldn't help the small laugh that came out.

"You're really utilizing the extra real estate," he joked. Donna didn't smile. She was watching Josh warily from afar. She placed the bowl firmly on the coffee table and pulled her legs up crossed legged underneath her. The blanket draped over her shoulders was pulled taught. Josh felt the guilt in his stomach rear its ugly head again. He deserved the defensiveness Donna was showing.

"Hi," he said, sitting next to her on the big squishy chair Donna had pretty much claimed as her own since moving in.

"Hi," Donna replied back.

There was no use beating around the bush.

"Donna, I'm sorry about the way I've been acting the last day or so. I've been a complete ass. I'm so sorry."

Donna looked up at him, her eyes warmer this time. Josh continued before she could reply.

"I promise I wasn't mad at you or trying to make you feel bad or any of that. I was just scared and I didn't know what else to do and I know you're scared too and that was selfish of me-"

Donna cut him off by grabbing one of his hands. Josh looked down at it with reverence.

"I really am sorry."

"I know."

"I'm an idiot."

"I know that too."

Josh's eyebrows furrowed, amused.

"You're the one having a kid with me. What does that make you?"

Donna let out a snort of laughter. "I ask myself that every day."

"Are you mad at me?" Josh asked.

"Maybe a little," Donna admitted. Josh nodded. "I get mad at you every time I try to bend down and tie my shoes and can't now too though."

Josh snorted.

"You're getting good at the groveling thing," Donna said, mischief playing in her eyes.

"You know what," Josh said, a look of faux anger on his face. He didn't take it any further than that. He sank back into his chair and let an easy silence roll over the pair of them.

"The baby's kicking," Donna announced a moment later. Josh's attention immediately perked up and he looked into Donna's eyes, silently asking for permission. When she nodded, he practically jumped to the other side of her on the sofa and delicately put a hand where Donna was pointing.

"To make it up to you, I'll un-veto one of the girl names that you like," Josh said.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I'll let you turn our child into a grandmother from birth because you want to name her Mildred."

"I was KIDDING about Mildred!" Donna protested.

Josh laughed.

"Maybe if we name the baby after Leo, it'll soften him up a little bit," Josh said after a moment. He was kidding, but Donna didn't miss the way his features drooped.

"Leo's gonna love this kid and you know it," Donna declared boldly. "Whether we name it after him or not." Josh seemed taken aback by her frankness.

"You don't know that," he said quietly. Donna shook her head.

"Josh, he's known you his whole life. He's only this mad at you because of how much he cares."

Josh didn't look convinced.

"Well and he's mad because you got your assistant pregnant," Donna added, her eyes sparkling slightly. "Which is probably fair."

Josh looked up at her with an amused look.

"You were there too you know."

"Yeah," Donna said, stifling a yawn. She leaned over and rested her head on Josh's shoulder. "But I was young and naive by how attractive my boss was."

"Stop it," Josh warned.

"Fell for all your tricks of seduction as I am just a lone farm girl from Wisconsin."

Josh pulled his arm around her shoulder and pressed a kiss to her temple all the while rolling his eyes.

"We'll get through it."

"Yeah," Donna agreed again, her voice was softer this time. Josh could tell she was fading fast. He didn't have the heart to move her before she fell asleep snuggled up against him.

-

Walking towards Josh's office, CJ could hear his voice along with Donna's floating through the cracked door. They sounded happy, laughing. Seeing as no one was around, she quietly made her way to the cracked door and peeked inside.

What she saw was nauseating in the level of adorable it was portraying. Donna was sitting in Josh's chair by the computer. Josh was kneeling down in front of her with his ear pressed up to her belly, a hand on either side of her. Donna was giggling and squirming as Josh's hair tickled up against her. Josh had a boyish grin on his face, both dimples on display.

"Seriously, Josh," Donna said, physically pulling his head away from her stomach. "Where do you want to get lunch."

"Let's grab some take out and eat it at Georgetown. The kids are all on vacation so it'll be empty."

"Okay," Donna said, smiling at him.

Suddenly an idea struck CJ. She pulled her face from the door and shuffled quickly back into her office.

"Carol?"

Carol promptly poked her head in the office.

"Yeah?"

"I need you to find me the sleaziest reporter in the press pool."

"Malcolm," they said together.

Half an hour later, Malcolm from one the newspapers CJ lovingly referred to as DC's Gossip Gophers, was making his way into her office. He was looking extremely cagey, he had never been asked back before.

"Hello, Malcolm," CJ said in her most pleasant.

"Hi," he replied nervously.

"We have a tip for you."

"For me?" Malcolm looked over his shoulder to make sure there couldn't be someone behind him that CJ was referring to.

"Yes, you."

Malcolm blinked a few times before eagerly replying, "what is it?"

"I want you to grab your photographer and make your way to the Georgetown University courtyard."

"What? School's not in session, it'll be empty."

"I know that, Malcolm."

"I don't-"

"There will be a White House staffer there who is very in demand right now with the press who your paper might enjoy getting pictures of."

Malcolm's eyes flashed.

"Why would you tell me that?"

"I need people to see what the real story is," CJ muttered, sitting down behind her desk.

"And what is that?"

"That they are very real," CJ said simply.

"Why aren't you having Danny or one or the other reporters take this?"

"Because your paper is the only one I trust to actually print the photos."

"How do you know the photos will be good?"

"I'll take my chances."

-

The next morning, CJ was in before everybody else, eager to get her hands on the papers. She hurried into her office and quickly snapped up the multitude of papers laid out on her desk by Carol. She felt a strong feeling of satisfaction wash over her as she took in the articles.

Just as she had predicted, Josh and Donna were making waves. Except this time, the papers were much more complimentary. Photos of them had spread far and wide. They were pictured just as CJ had predicted, eating lunch in the courtyard at Georgetown, not a soul around but them. The two had been pictured on a bench together eating lunch. Donna's head had been in Josh lap as she finished off some potato chips. Josh's hand had been holding hers, laying loosely on top of her belly. They looked every inch of a couple in love.

It was about 20 minutes before CJ heard Josh come into the office. She quickly targeted him and pulled him into his office.

"What the hell?" he asked urgently at CJ tugging him by the arm.

Once CJ closed the door, she brought out a newspaper and handed it to Josh wordlessly. Josh's face fell as he saw the photos and his eyebrows bunched together.

"Damn it, I didn't see any photographers," he sighed, rubbing his forehead. CJ quirked an eyebrow.

"Josh-"

"Great, now Leo's got another reason to be pissed at me."

"No, Josh-"

"Toby's going to be in here any second."

"JOSH."

Josh looked up at her quickly.

"This is a good thing."

"It is?" Josh looked completely unconvinced.

"Yes."

"How is it-"

"This is the public finally getting to see who you two really are as a couple."

"Oh," Josh said softly, leaning against his desk.

"They get to see how grossly cute the two of you are together." Josh rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

"It's quite sickening," CJ continued.

"I get it," Josh said dismissively, moving to walk around his desk to his chair.

"Josh," CJ said again. He looked at her. "This is a good thing."

"Well, good," Josh said, unsure of what to say. "I hope Leo agrees with you."

"I'll make him agree."

Josh looked unconvinced.

"Let's go."

-

"CJ?" Leo asked almost as soon as everyone was gathered.

"This is a great thing, Leo, trust me."

"Convince me.

"Almost every one of the papers has included these photos without the normal dosage of cynicism. They still think Josh fucked up, but there seems to be little doubt about the validity of their relationship."

"It's true," Sam agreed. "This reaction from these pictures has been overwhelmingly positive, considering."

"How do we proceed?" Leo asked. Josh felt very surprised at how eagerly Leo was accepting this news. It was as though Leo himself was wanting to believe everyone.

"You let me give just enough to the press to suppress their appetite," CJ said quickly. Leo sat on that for a moment before glancing at Toby, who looked unimpressed in the corner.

"Fine."

"Okay," CJ said, relieved.

"I don't want you anywhere near the press today," Leo said harshly, pointing a finger at Josh. "We let CJ and CJ alone deal with it." Josh simply nodded, not wanting to give Leo any reason to be upset.

"What else," Leo asked. The moving moved on quickly and CJ gave Josh a swift, supportive smile that he welcomed very much.

-

"CJ?"

"Yes, Leslie," Cj said calmly, pointing among a sea of hands.

"Do you care to comment on the photos of Josh Lyman and his former assistant that have been widespread across the news today?"

CJ smiled before looking down at her notes briefly.

"Well, I guess I would say that those photos are pretty accurate as to what friends of Josh and Donna are used to. They are sickeningly sweet like that all the time unfortunately."

"You don't think it's inappropriate-"

"While I understand the want and need for a scandal, I can promise you that there have been very few couples who are as blatantly obvious as Josh and Donna. The administration took the correct steps to ensure that there were no professional conflicts and well," CJ adjusted her glasses with a smirk. "As many of you know, Josh Lyman doesn't do anything by halves. So, here we are."

Laughter filled the press room at that and CJ finally felt her shoulders relax. The tide had turned. They were through the worst of it.


End file.
